Facing an Unplanned Pregnancy

It’s a simple fact of life that not all pregnancies are planned. For some, seeing the positive test is not necessarily a time for celebration. In fact, some women may find this moment devastating. You may consider yourself too young to have a baby, or perhaps you feel your family is already complete. It could be relationship problems or financial insecurity causing you to worry about the timing of the pregnancy.

Once you have decided to progress with the pregnancy, it doesn’t mean you will feel any less shocked, or that you will all of a sudden feel 100 percent happy about the pregnancy. Even women who have tried for years to fall pregnant can experience feelings of regret during the pregnancy.

Unplanned doesn’t mean unloved

Some women experiencing unplanned pregnancies report feelings of guilt and shame around their pregnancy. It is crucial to remember that unplanned doesn’t mean unloved. Your pregnancy may have been unplanned, but that doesn’t mean you will be any less able to love your baby.

Talk about your feelings

During pregnancy, the hormonal changes, fatigue and worry over what is to come, can feel overwhelming. It’s important to talk about how you are feeling – your worries, concerns and even regrets. It is important you find a trusted person to talk to, whether that be your partner, best friend, or a support service. Do not feel ashamed of your feelings, it is completely natural to have mixed feelings about an unplanned pregnancy, and talking about it may help you to deal with these emotions.

Find support

All new parents require a strong support system, whether the pregnancy was planned or not. Having a baby is a big life change, and you will need help, especially in the early days. This support could be in the form of help with the baby or around the home, or it could be a friendly ear on tough days. Make sure you have a support system in place, and let them know in advance that you might call on them for help when the baby arrives.

Financial planning

One of the main worries for women carrying unplanned pregnancies, is the financial aspect of parenting. If you weren’t planning to have a baby just yet, chances are you haven’t got lots of money to go and blow in a baby store. As soon as possible, you should sit down and work out your finances. Speak to your employer, student services or a family planning clinic, to find out about your access to financial help. Will you qualify for maternity leave, or receive some other benefits once the baby arrives?

Planning for the future

If you’re young, and worried that having a baby will prevent you from doing certain things in life, write a to do list. Fill it with all the things you’d like to do, and all the places you want to visit in your life. Once you’ve got your list, you can start working towards things. Having a baby doesn’t mean your life is over. It may take you a little longer to achieve things now, but it doesn’t mean you have to cross them off your list for good.

Most importantly, let go of the guilt. Do not feel guilty for having an unplanned pregnancy You will still be a great mother.

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.

Fiona PeacockFacing an Unplanned Pregnancy

Comments 7

  1. Diana

    Hey I am 17 and I think that I am three weeks pregnant. Symptoms haven’t showed yet. What should I do? 🙂

  2. Bernard Clyde

    I had some friends in high school that had unplanned pregnancies who ended up coming out with a great family. It’s a sensitive subject that can be easily misunderstood. I appreciate the tone of this article encouraging those who are pregnant to discuss their feelings. There are supportive services out there to help with care and finances in this often frightening situation.

  3. Shea

    Time to look forward and not back. I’m 21 and pregnant. My youth and freedom was just beginning. Closing the door on that part of my life leaves me nostalgic but optimisitic. I can focus on nothing now but how excited I am to have this baby. I believe that everything happens for a reason and the pieces will fall where they may. Only the strongest of young women are the ones that this path was meant for.

  4. Hannah

    Im 16 and 15 weeks pregnant it was a huge shock but i am coping and i am now really excited out my baby coming, my partner has been very supportive and so have his family & my family too if a little angry at first. I know that being young doesnt mean i will any less of a parent than someone who may be older and have planned it.

  5. Savannah

    Hello I am facing a unplanned pregnancy. I am 21 and my partner is 31. We have only been dating as long as I have been pregnant. My two fears going into this is the money part of having a baby and being a single mom. I hope things between the father and I can work out but if not everything will be okay and I will support and raise the baby on my own. The biggest support I’ve found so far are my friends because my family is still in shock. Everything is going to be okay and this site has really showed me that 😊

  6. Youngandpregnant

    Your life might not be ideal right now, but your child is still a gift. Hopefully you and your partner can work things out but either way, you won’t regret having this baby. I don’t know if you already believe in God or not, but He is always strong enough to get you through times like these. Other people might leave you or treat you wrong, but God never will. You can hold on to him for your strength and courage to face this hard time with him. You are never alone, even when it feels that way sometimes. I’m young and also expecting and the timing was surprising to me too, but I can trust God with my future and my baby, knowing that he cares for us more than I can imagine. While he doesn’t always prevent bad things from happening, he is in control and I know that he has a plan for my baby’s life and that he loves my baby more than I ever will. These things give me comfort, I hope they do for you as well. 🙂

  7. Brogan

    Hi I am facing an unplanned pregnancy I have a partner we are both aged 23 and I also have a 5 year old son from a previous relationship,me and my partner are quite good at communicating in general but lately because I am pregnant it’s been hard , I worry I will become a single parent again and this time around I’m very scared as I am no longer naive and immature I now understand how serious and scary having a baby is. I’m very undecided on what I should do, I am also attending college to futher a career and my final exams are around the time i am due (roughly) another issue is my periods are irregular and I cannot remember my last period and I have been smoking for around 3 weeks before I found out I was pregnant .. I’ve lapsed a few times on smoking and I am concerned for the baby’s health and development. I am very fragile and stressed and frequent sickness isn’t helping matters. I am scared this isn’t a good time to have a baby and I lost a baby last year around this time and I do not want the same to happen again but also debating with family is abortion an answer, one I do not want to answer or think about as I do not agree .. but I can also understand why women sometimes do as I’ve thought about it by influences etc. I’m lost and I need some advice, I’m head strong most of the time and I am a good mother to my son, is this right, wrong ?! I’m not in a good place and I don’t have any close friends anymore.