How Pregnancy Loss Changes You

It is estimated that nearly 6 out of 10 women experience some form of pregnancy loss in their life. Some, may not have even known they were pregnant while others knew and celebrated wholeheartedly only to be heartbroken. The reality is that whether you are trying to conceive, or conceived by accident, the loss of a pregnancy is real. In fact, it is the loss of a dream for many, and is not just the loss of a pregnancy – but the loss of a life that is felt.

Recovering can be painful. Most people don’t know what to say to you, and even if they did – it is likely they wouldn’t make you feel any better. As your body goes through the changes of being pregnant to not being pregnant, there is an avalanche of hormones that can make your emotions feel even more out of control. And often, knowing that you are not alone is not much of a consolation prize. Each woman processes pregnancy loss differently, but one thing remains the same. The little life that was inside of you changes you. And he or she had lessons to teach you, and he or she will always be part of your life whether you knew about him or her for 2 weeks or 2 months.

At the end of the day, pregnancy loss changes you, changes who you are.

For one thing it can change your outlook and optimism. Even though the odds are in your favor that your next pregnancy will go off without a hitch, you lose that spring in your step and your eternal optimism after such a large loss. It is normal for your next pregnancy to be outlined with worry and underlined with a constant hint of anxiety. We try to save ourselves from ever feeling that loss again, and put up protective mechanisms to ‘prepare’ us and keep us from ever being ‘too’ excited. We become careful and calculated and often fearful. The only thing you can do is do your best to stay focused on the positive in your life.

It also changes how we feel about ourselves. Typically women go through a gamut of emotions from shame and embarrassment to humiliation and denial. For many women, telling all the people who knew about the pregnancy that they were no longer pregnant was one of the hardest things to do. Not because others would be judgmental or mean, but because they may have felt like their own bodies had failed somehow. It can take many years to come to grips with the feelings about yourself and your body.

It also changes what we take for granted. As any deep loss does, pregnancy loss is no different. As humans, it is often through our pain and our losses that we grow the most – and yet this is one of the most painful ways to grow.

Anger can become a constant companion as well. At least for a while. When you lose a baby, it’s easy to become angry at everyone who has one, every pregnant woman that you feel is less deserving than you were, every woman that you see somehow can become a reminder of your loss and it is natural that it makes you angry. Even so, at some point – you have to let go of that anger in order to truly live and breathe again. But it does take time.

Pregnancy loss is different for every woman. One thing however, remains the same and that is that we have to embrace the changes and the full circle of our emotions. We have to find someone we trust to talk to about our feelings and allow ourselves to grieve and feel. None of what we feel is wrong along the way, none of what we feel is something to be ashamed of. It is part of us. And we owe ourselves the time and space to truly feel our emotions so that we can recover wholly. Even so, the loss – will have changed some aspect of who you are. The best we can hope for is that through the experience, we learn something positive that we can take forward in our lives as something to build upon.

Written By Stef, Mom of 4 @Momspirational

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.

Team Health & ParentingHow Pregnancy Loss Changes You

Comments 101

  1. Maegan

    I am currently pregnant for the 5th, possibly 7th time. I’ve had 4 miscarriages that I know of for sure. However, I’m very optimistic about this pregnancy because I lost all my babies between 6.5-7 weeks. Turns out my progesterone levels stay too low to support a pregnancy, I’m on supplements this time as I now have a doctor that didn’t waste time getting me in for a blood test to confirm the home pregnancy tests. I’ve had my first EVER ultrasound and got to hear my baby’s heartbeat at 8 weeks and 1 day!! I cried so much because I’ve never made it this far before and everything about this pregnancy is different from my last 4. My due date is October 1, and while I’m still being careful, I’m starting to get more and more excited with every day that passes. I’m finally letting myself look at baby clothes and plan for what crib, car seat, and stroller I want for my miracle baby. While this article may be hard to read, I do think that this app is doing its job; which is to inform us pregnant women about all the possible scenarios that can occur at any given time in our journey to carry to full term. I will always carry the loss of my babies with me, but as time passes; it’s gotten a lot easier to deal with. I still cry on the anniversary of each of my babies loss, and that will probably never change. But I’m a lot stronger now than I was for the first couple of months after each one. Good luck to all the mommies on here, whether you’re having a rainbow baby or not.

  2. Mar

    Wow, I didn’t think I would find someone who feels exactly as I do. We never talk to others about this even though it happens so often.
    We lost our baby at 21 weeks and I felt downcast; but what was worse for me was trying once and again and not got pregnant til one year later.
    Now we are 10+5, and although I am excited, sometimes I can’t avoid to think if it will happen again.
    Thanks for your article, helps to feel we are not alone.😊

  3. Zoubida

    Thank you for such a beautiful article. I had a mc and this is my 2nd pregnancy. I’m 10 weeks and at the exact time I lost my last. This article reminded me that yes it was hard and made me weeo for months but now and i thank God for another hope. Life is unpredictable but surely what will happen is fate. I’m trying to stay positive but am much more prepared for the worse (if it was to happen).
    My 1st mc was awful. I had no knowledge this could happen. I worn torn to pieces and went total crazy at everything and everyone. Knowledge for pregnancy is VERY IMPORTANT. Sorry for all those that have had loses. All our angels are in heaven together ❤

  4. Zilah

    Thank you so much for this article. I have had 4 miscarriages in the last 18 months one of which was at 13 weeks and I was a broken woman. After seeing my little boy and his tiny ears I was scared I wouldn’t want to try again. A year on we are 11 weeks and every twinge, every moment I am terrified that it will happen again. I feel like there is a no safe date until they are born and in my arms. Knowing there are others who understand and support you is such a relief and reassuring. It’s a horrible time and no one can make you feel any better but articles like this do make you feel like others understand. Thank you.

  5. Val Anderson

    For all of the ladies that say that this is not the place for this article, I disagree…. I am also 11 weeks pregnant with twins, and this has been a pregnancy filled with apprehension and emotions, as we lost our son, Roman Joseph, at 20 weeks last July…. but all I could think while reading this was “Finally! I feel like this was written just for me!” The fact is, miscarriage is a harsh and brutal reality, and for those of us who have been through it, an article like this is very helpful, and makes you feel like you aren’t alone in what you are feeling….

  6. Ash

    Ugh im erasing this app, I know this is a reality for many but im 11 weeks with twins and now I just have horrible anxiety. I’m doing my best to stay positive and this did not help at all.

  7. Lisa Castecka

    For the woman who commented that this article has no place here is wrong. This article most definitely deserves to be here on this website. Pregnancy isn’t only about having a baby, it’s about the experience along the way, including miscarriages. I have one healthy four year old who was born at 40w4d and my second ended in a missed miscarriage at 11w6d. I was uneducated and had no idea there was any such thing as a missed miscarriage. I wish I would have! I’m now currently 10w5d pregnant and there are fears and worries there. Reading articles like this and other stories helps me reconcile that I’m not alone in this. THANK YOU for posting this article. It was informational and something some of us NEED to see.

  8. Rachel-Jo

    For those saying there is no need for this article maybe it would be smart to think of those who have actually had a loss. I lost my son at 23+3 and found it comforting to see an article that recognises the anxiety related to a rainbow pregnancy. Im 11 weeks now and the fear is REAL. Women wonder why pregnancy loss and stillbirth are tabboo, its ignorance as shown by some of these comments.

  9. Haley

    I am 8 weeks and 5 days pregnant. And to all of you worried ladies on here, heres my motto and my favorite saying.

    Nothing can’t happen, that God doesnt allow.♡

    I hope this brings some comfort to some of you.

  10. Aly

    I know that if you have not experienced a loss before this is a hard thing to hear. At 7 weeks of this pregnancy I was told that there were two sacs but only one heart beat. I was told that i was going to have what is called a “vanishing twin”. However that couldnt have been further from the truth.

    At almost 8 weeks i started to misscarry. And i mean truly miscarry. I was bleeding (enough yo fill a pad in about 5 to 10 minutes) and having cramps/contractions. I went to my specialist and had an ultrasound to find out that the twin was being expelled but that the healthy baby was still in place and had a strong heartbeat. I accepted the loss quickly and was just gratefull that we still had a healthy baby.

    A week later i started massisvely bleeding again. I was so distraught because i just knew i had lost my healty baby. When i was scanned in the ER i was told that i was still misscarrying the twin. Which should have made me happy that i was still pregnant. But instead just brought up emotions that i had not delt with.

    Since then i have bled 2 more times. I am trying to stay positive but i am fighting depression. I dont feel pregnant anymore. I know in my head that i am but my heart just doesnt feel it. No one around me can even understand why im not over the moon about my pregnancy anymore.

    Misscarriage is a hard thing to think about but it is not impossible and it does change you. Some people say that this article shouldnt be on this app but there are people that are dealing with the loss of a baby and are pregnant.

  11. Amy

    This is absolutely not the place for this article. I’m in my late 30’s and 11 weeks pregnant with my first child. Since I found out I’ve tried to research what to expect at every step of the way as I’m very new to this. Every single article/blog/forum/site I come across is full of miscarriage stories! Because of this I’ve spent the whole pregnancy thus far continuously and probably unnecessarily worrying! I downloaded this app as it seems like a positive and fun daily update about your baby’s development yet they put an article about miscarriages on here!!!! I don’t want to have to stop reading online as I want to educate myself on what I should be expecting but I feel like it’s turning me in to a nervous wreck. So many negative stories rather than positive ones. If I do suffer a miscarriage like tragically so many women have then I will deal with it surrounded by the love of family and friends I will seek out those forums dedicated to loss from which I can seek help and comfort. However it’s not fair to talk about miscarriage on apps like this which are designed to create excitement and happiness at the daily development of your baby.

  12. Elise

    My heart brakes for all of you I myself have suffered 14 miscarriages in the last 7 years I’m currently 11 weeks pregnant and feeling optimistic as usually lose between 5 & 7 weeks. My youngest child is 13 and was born at 26 weeks so I’m hoping I can hold on to this little one a while longer 😘 love and best wishes to you all xx

  13. Maggie

    We lost our first daughter at 23 weeks, our second at 18weeks and our third daughter stillborn at 24 weeks, I’m currently pregnant again and hoping for the best. But like this article say, it’s difficult to see the light sometimes. And some pregnant people are just to much.. all the best and loads of love to everyone trying to get through a pregnancy after loss. xx

  14. Fiona Hill

    This is a great article and absolutely has a place here. Every pregnant woman should know that miscarriage is a reality and many out there have suffered from it. The majority will have healthy pregnancies, but it’s important to understand the impact for those who have suffered loss. I’ve had 2 miscarriages in my 11th week – one pregnancy was unplanned and the other planned but both losses affected me greatly. I’m currently 10w5d of my 3rd pregnancy and very nervous as I head into week 11. Hoping that it’s 3rd time lucky for me and this one makes it…

  15. McKayla

    Hi I am currently 10 weeks and 5 days this is my third pregnancy after two MC the first at 7 weeks the second at 9 which was in June it is currently December and I am both nervous and excited every little tummy pain worries me but after hearing my baby’s heart beat yesterday I am feeling better stay positive and leave it in God’s hands ladies

  16. Kay W.

    This is my second pregnancy and I lost my first. This article is very true. I’m so scared that I may not be able to make it thru the entire pregnancy this time especially since I’m having some complications. I’m close to 11 weeks. The last one only lasted 7 weeks. It’s really nerve-wracking but I’m trying to stay strong and positive. Prayers go out to all the other women who’ve lost a pregnancy.

  17. Kristina

    That is an amazing post and completely true. I am currently 10 wks and 5 days pregnant. At 8 wks my doc said I was suppose to be having identical twins but that I had vanishing twin syndrome since one is only half the size of the first. I keep hoping that the other one is partially hidden behind the first but still can’t get that comment out of my head since I have already had one miscarriage. I pray no one else on here ever has to go thru the loss of one or more of there angels. It is the hardest thing in the world to ever have to live thru.

  18. Leigh

    I’m currently 10weeks and 5 days. I was experiencing the worst pain and the doctors thought I may have an ectopic pregnancy or possible miscarriage I had my scan and everything was where it should be , I do look forward to reading the daily blog but really don’t think this is the place for this to be it’s very sensitive and should really have its own sort of place on the app , I have my next scan in a couple of weeks and reading the story’s do make me feel worried I lost my baby sister last December she only live for 5 hours and 2 minutes the hospital never delivered her properly which caused her to die we are still trying to cope as it is still going through courts my mum is currently having another baby and is 20 weeks and is petrified but all we can do is pray 💗 Baby Sofia 2/12/15

  19. Lisa

    I lost my first baby so I am very nervous and praying God that this angel can stay with me. I am farther along than I was able to get last time so I am hopeful.

  20. Katie

    I cannot begin to comprehend what it would be like to lose a child, this is my first pregnancy and I’m nearly 11 weeks. My prayers go out to all the women who have suffered misscarriages. I am one of four children and my mum had 3 miscarriages. I pray that I don’t lose my angel.

  21. AB

    In my opinion, this post on daily blog at first trimester plays an important role to let us know that we should be more careful with ourselves, our diet and of course our babies. Treat yourself like princess! Come on you’re growing a human inside you, not an easy task. May God protect each of ours baby amin.

  22. Bevla

    It’s my first time being pregnant. I’ve swollen up already, haven’t had any bleeding but have had some pain . I am extremely anxious right now as I was constantly having acid reflux and tiredness massively and now those symptoms have stopped. I’m just hoping the baby hasn’t stopped growing. I am not celebrating my pregnancy because I think it’s important to keep your thoughts grounded because you dont know what’s going to happen. I’m glad this article was published.

  23. Rachel

    I lost my first baby at 12 weeks and 1 day on 6th May. I hadn’t had a scan yet so it was a total shock. I am currently 10 weeks and 5 days pregnant and got to see my baby at the scan yesterday. Doctor seems to think everything looks ok so I am feeling a little more confident that I can carry this baby to full term.

  24. Kimberly

    This post truely helped me. I’ve had 2 miscarriages this year and I’m on my 3rd pregnancy. 10 weeks and 5 days is the farthest I have gone in all of my pregnancies and I feel like 3rd time is the charm! All I can do is pray to God and believe he will let my carry this miracle to full term and hold a healthy baby at the end. I am paranoid and worried all the time. Pregnancy loss does change you. It changes you on your look out on life. Every moment is precious and even though I carried my angel babies just for a little while I’m still a mommy and I have 2 beautiful angels watching over me!

  25. Viviana

    This article shouldn’t be sent to pregnant women in the first trimester, it is unfair of putting this idea in a pregnant women’s head, and it is just unnecessary, unless expressively requested.

  26. Jodie

    This article needed to be shown. I have a perfect almost 4year old boy, and last year we lost what would have been his little brother or sister. It does change you, people don’t understand. I’m very grateful for what I have but still heartbroken over who I lost. I’m now 10+5 and scared to get to excited. Scan is in 2 weeks, all I can do is keep faith. My boy wants so badly to be a big brother I really hope I can make him one. We’ve hardly told a soul this time. Good luck to you all.

  27. Aleks

    Ladies, reading your stories is heart-breaking. I can’t imagine what you went through, my mum and grandma both lost babies and I am eagerly awaiting to hear my baby’s heartbeat to be reassured (my scan is in 1,5 wks). Having said that, I try to be positive – this is my first I am relatively young and healthy but the thought is in the back of my mind… Reading the blog post this morning has made me more anxious but I understand why it was put up.

  28. Sarah

    I suffer from severe anxiety. The last thing I needed to see was this post when I checked my app. To someone like me, this is a constant worry. Having it randomly pop up now makes me worry even more that it’s a sign. This causes certain behaviors that can be irritating and exhausting. Please consider making a section for women to read this there. For people who have horrible anxiety, this is a trigger.

  29. Shanna

    I appreciate that pregnancy loss happens having been through it twice myself however I don’t feel that this is something that should be on a pregnancy app. There is a time and a place for it and I don’t believe it’s here

  30. Naomi

    I really did not want to read this post today. Not in a pregnancy app. There should be a separate section about this is people want to read more but not in a daily post that I usually look forward to reading.

  31. Leigh Hooker

    Is this negative post really relevant for a pregnancy app? I’ve been through miscarriage myself and would have found this helpful then but now I would simply like to stay positive and not read about losing a child…

  32. iris

    Before the big day tomorrow (first scan) I am in bed now and I decided to read to daily blog…. I understand this is a very important topic but can there be another app for this? Or a tab? I was just feeling excited about tomorrow and now I can’t help but feeling a bit anxious. I don’t need this right now… thank you

  33. Barbara Dima

    I am sure this article could be useful for somone, but for me it has my stomach in knots.

  34. Amanda

    I am currently 10w5d and 3 years ago suffered a loss. It was heartbreaking. Although i have come to live with the loss it is still painful at times. I now worry about every little thing i feel during this pregnancy but have to try and keep myself positive and trust that things work out as they should this time around.

    Some people may not like reading this post but it is not something to be ignored. It should be talked about. It is a reality that many couples live and not ignoring that wont make it go away.

    Thank you for todays post

  35. Magii

    Hello everyone, today I desided to pick up my phone and read this blogs. Somehow I felt good by doing so, recently I had a miscarriage and it has been devastating. In all truth I have closed my self to the world. Didn’t want to see anyone or listen to anyone any more. Nothing that people tell you helps your pain of loss but; by reading this article somehow made feel I still have hope. After my miscarriage I lost my job and I lost my husband, and maybe I have lost the trust in my self. Maybe posts like this can be sensitive for some people but for me personally, has been the light after the tunnel.

    Thank you.

  36. Christine

    Thank you for or postings I found the silence on this problem the hardest part. my boss was my rock she has four boys after 3 MCs. I lost one in January at ~8wks now 10+5 trying to trust my body can do this and be positive.

  37. Leandra Watlington

    Thank you for including an article like this. It’s good to see I’m not alone and frankly people need to be more informed on this topic. Thank you.

  38. Sairah

    I am always so excited to read these blogs but today I didn’t even bother to read after the first paragraph. I am 10w5d and to be honest this is something I don’t want to read, hearing about this is scary I rather not read about it either. Please keep them positive as we pregnant women don’t need to stress more than we have too please. Thanks.

  39. Oksannitta

    I agree that publishing articles like this one in an App for pregnant is not a good idea… I’m 10 weeks pregnant and try not to even think about miscarriage or any other reason for a baby loss.. Please, give us more positive information, because there is more than enough negative information around us..

  40. Hayley

    I really didn’t need to be logging into the app to read this, I’m anxious enough about it going wrong. Please stick to informative positive topics!

  41. María

    hi!
    Normally I like every article you publish but I find this one too negative and heartbreaking. When you experience a pregnancy loss (my case) you need positive advice and not an article saying all the negative feeling you had. Please change the article and add positive feelings and advice. For those women who experienced a pregnancy loss, keep on trying and be positive!

  42. Melissa

    Thanks for including information on loss. Although some people are lucky enough to be uncomfortable hearing about it, for many of us it’s the reality we live with every day. A very important topic among the lighter themes like fingernail growth and stretch marks. It can happen to anyone, and there is no safe time. But you don’t have to let the fear rule you either.

  43. Lucy

    This is an important issue, very well written it is not scaremongering at all but it explains exactly how one feels after a loss.
    To scare one would be saying everything that could go wrong which is not done here, it is important that we know how it feels for someone that has been through this so that we can support them.
    While it is unlikely to happen to most people we still need to talk about it for those who have had problems, our friends and family who have had losses that need our support.
    Thankyou for adding this, pregnancy loss shouldn’t be a taboo.

  44. Eir

    I gave birth to my stillborn son in May 2015. He was my first born, I was only 19 years old, but I was so ready! Now I’m pregnant again and I’m so afraid that I will loose this one too. I’m getting an early scan, but my boyfriend isn’t gonna be in the country then, and I’m so afraid that there will be something wrong. I want this so much! I want to tell our baby about his/hers brother in heaven and about how much we love him ❤️

  45. Neusa arraial

    Thank you for writing this article! As someone who has experienced loss at 21 weeks pregnant, I believe it is extremely important to bring awareness to such heartache so that women who suffer the loss of their babies don’t feel isolated. During a time where endless bliss is the expected outcome, shining some light on the reality side of pregnancy is extremely important.

  46. Carina Matei

    I am 7 weeks pregnant and yesterday when i made the first ultrasuond we saw only the empty room and no embrione. It is called blighted ovum and it is a condition where you area pregnant with all the simphtoms but no embrione. This article is very helpfull TO me…. so that aftr 2 weeks of knowing i bave a baby inside now i may not have anything…

  47. Joan

    This post is very true and in away a reminder to emotions that I’m going through now! I had a stillborn baby back on the beginning of January 26 weeks, had to for the first time on my 3 rd baby push which was an experience I will never forget after 2 c-sections the only natural birth and my baby had 1 week past inside me. I some what blame myself the week before I had missed my appointment and didn’t even have any symptoms that something was wrong, I had a Placental abruption which is something very serious and the symptoms very painful and I had nothing I went about my business till my next appointment. When it was time to hear my baby’s heart beat and doctors couldn’t find one I was so devastated my heart dropped I gave birth to my dead baby and not only I had lost him I lost a peace of myself with him. I still cry him some nights. Now I’m 10 weeks and 5 days and can’t get excited at all I see myself nervous out of any lil pain I get and want to rush to the hospital. I have a complication that is very serious and unfortunately I’ve had it since my teen years diabetes type 1. And just with that complication I’m always scared with 2 healthy baby’s previous to my loss I still sit and think what went wrong, I shouldn’t had over done myself working there’s a lot to think about when you don’t really know why which is the question you would always have in your mind. Everyone use to tell me everything happens for a reason when people asked me about the baby it was so painful to actually tell them I had lost him. I wouldn’t want to see no one go through this painful experience lossing a pregnancy. I give it to all the woman out there that have had a lost like this and are still strong, if you are pregnant after a lost just pray a lot God is there. And hope for every momma out there going through this just have faith I know being scared of what may happen may not go away your whole pregnancy until the baby is born but ones you see your lil ones face for the first time everything will seem worth it ☺️.

  48. Danielle

    I’m currently 10 weeks and 5 days. I’ve had 3 miscarriages. This is my 4th pregnancy so yes dealing with loss of a pregnancy is a huge deal! It changes EVERYTHING! I’m nervous and anxious all day everyday not knowing what will happen with this one. If I could I would get an ultrasound of baby and heartbeat just to know everything is ok. But All I can do is pray that all goes well. My next appt is in 2 weeks which can’t get here fast enough! I just want some peace of mind!

  49. Elaina

    This post could not have been timed any better. My husband and I lost a baby back at the end of January and it is something that haunts me to this day. So many people didn’t understand or judged me for “not getting over it.” one person actually told me I just had to choose to be over it like this was a heartbreak that I chose to have. After I lost the baby 4 girls at work turned up pregnant and to be honest I hated them and was extremely jealous that they could have one and I couldn’t. Now I am 10 weeks 5 days pregnant with my rainbow baby and sadly I haven’t let myself get excited about this one. We only just told family members about it. I feel like I have somewhat betrayed this child because all I can think about is what if I lose this one too. Next week I will be to the same point as I was when I lost the last baby after that I hope I can find the courage to finally be truly excited.

    Unless you have personally gone through the loss of a child you can’t begin to fully understand a mother’s pain. It was so bad for me that I didn’t even do mothers day. I left on a mission trip the day before just so I could be away from it and not have to deal with it. This is a pain that never goes away and unlike a joyous birthday January 26th will be a sad reminder of the life that I lost.

  50. Nicola

    People that have not suffered a miscarriage can never understand the pain and heartache that it brings. Our first pregnancy was IVF. We had a scan at 7 weeks and another scan at 8 weeks. The day before our 12 week scan I has some bleeding so went for a scan. They told us that we lost the baby at 9 weeks. We were devastated. Three years on we are now 10 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Again we have had two scans which said everything is fine. This article was brilliantly timed for me today and let’s me know that I am not alone in the constant worry that it will happen again. Hopefully we’ll be able to start to enjoy the pregnancy after the next scan. Hugs to everyone who has suffered a loss. x

  51. Jenika

    It his article explains a real life situation that so many women have to go through. It is a sensitive subject but it’s real life and someone needed to hear it. It’s good to understand, whether you’re currently going through it or not. I appreciated it. This is my first pregnancy so I have not had to go through miscarriage to this point. I have PCOS but, God willing, can carry this little life to full term. My cousin just miscarried at 8 months pregnant. That was horrible. People at work talk about disheartening things that are happening to women in their lives. We should all know there is always a chance. But my point is through all of life’s terrible twists and turns you can’t live YOUR life in fear. My heart just aches for my dear cousin, my mother, and women who have experienced the heartbreak of losing their baby. But I can’t let the sadness and fear stress me out and take away the overflowing joy and excitement and gratefulness that I am filled with throughout my own pregnancy. I am so incredibly blessed to be with this tiny life for as long as God intends. :)💜

  52. Dana

    This article was perfect, thank you for posting it.

    I’m absolutely shocked and disgusted by some of the comments on here though, such as ‘you’ve got to think of those of us who haven’t miscarried’ or ‘this shouldn’t have been posted today’ etc. Those are exactly the kinds of attitudes which make women who have experienced a pregnancy loss feel so alone and isolated. It’s incredibly selfish to kick up a fuss about just one article that has been written to help women like me, when the rest are all about normal pregnancies! If this isn’t what you needed to read right now, then you didn’t have to read it at all. But I REALLY did need to read this.

    I lost my first baby when I was only 21, and it was the worst experience of my life. I desperately wanted to talk about it but found that the people around me were too uncomfortable, and preferred to sweep it under the rug (much like some people on here) and that made the grieving process very difficult. I deeply resented and hated other women, including my cousin (who was pregnant and due a week before I was), and that made me even hate myself. I felt like my body had failed and I still can’t forgive myself.

    That miscarriage happened at 7-8 weeks, and I’m now 10+5 weeks pregnant with (hopefully) my rainbow baby. I don’t agree that this should have been posted earlier, because even this far along my pregnancy is tainted with fear and anxiety, and the risk never truly goes away. I had an early scan at nearly 8 weeks and things were looking great, but that’s still not enough to reassure me!

    Pregnancy loss really does change you as a person, forever. Even if this pregnancy goes smoothly I will never overcome the loss I’ve experienced, and neither will my partner. Nobody can understand the grief we feel unless they’ve experienced it for themselves, but this article explained it really well, and I just hope that one day other women are able to accept that miscarriage does happen to some of us, and not treat the subject so insensitively. We shouldn’t have to feel that we can’t talk about it, for fear of worrying somebody that hasn’t even been through it.

  53. Lara

    Personally for me, this is the worst thing to have today. I fell down the stairs a few days ago and am going for an early scan this morning to check everything is ok. I’m not so positive anymore!

  54. Heather

    im 11 wks with my 3rd baby and i have fears that this pregnancy isnt going to go as smoothly as my previous two. my other kids pregnancy and labours were perfect therein is my worry if my pregnancies went so well whats to say this one wont. i feel like im the only one to feel like this and struggle to voice my feelings. im desperate for my dating scan to see for myself everything is ok. its got to the stange im thinking its a phantom pregnancy. its horrific. im glad this article is here help others to understand.

  55. lori

    Last year I was 5 months pregnant with a baby boy we went in to find out his sex and find out a lot more he had a lot of Heath problems and I’m 10 weeks now and I pray everything is going to be OK with this one I try and stay positive but it’s hard I don’t want to fill that pain again

  56. KaDa

    thanks for posting this! It puts my feelings into words… I lost 2 babies (week 10 and 13) and I fear it has changed me forever… I hope and wish everything is fine this time. And I deeply hope the same for everyone else reading this. Nobody should suffer the loss of a baby. No matter in which week! It simply breaks your heart…

  57. Tabitha

    I have had 2 miscarriages and am currently 11 weeks pregnant again. This is the best article I have read about pregnancy loss and explaining the constant fear that I am going to lose this baby too. I still struggle with the grief of my first two, and am afraid that if I let myself get too excited about this one. So many people do not understand the deep feeling of loss that comes when you lose a baby and the self hatred and depression that comes along with it. But for anyone out there who might be going through this right now, it does get better and the more friends and family you have supporting you through it, the easier it will be.

  58. Charli

    When I first came across this article I thought “wow, this isn’t what I need to read right now at all!” Then reading the other ladies comments I understand that it is important to address the ones that have experienced loss and give them hope that everything will be alright and that they have people out there they can turn to!
    I am 10 weeks and 5 days into my first pregnancy and things like this are constantly on my mind, but you can’t spend the whole time worrying about it, you have to enjoy this time and this amazing experience you have been given!
    And if anything should happen, you mustn’t give up! You will have your miracle, maybe the timing just isn’t right yet! But hold on, it’s coming! ❤️
    I send all my love to those who are experiencing heartbreak over the loss of a little one! X x

  59. Meg

    This article shouldn’t have been posted earlier at all! There is no specific time that loss occurs & this article is needed by many at all times during pregnancy. My son was stillborn at almost 42 weeks last October & I still get frustrated seeing posts about how you’re ‘safe’ after 12 weeks, etc. I know so many bereaved parents now through support groups & a baby has been lost at every stage of pregnancy. I’m currently almost 11 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby & the anxiety is with me 24/7. Thankyou for posting this!

  60. Kimberlyrose

    I was thankful to see this article today.

    I am a little annoyed at those complaining though. If you’ve never experienced a loss, that’s wonderful, but don’t say this shouldn’t have been posted because of that. For those complaining it should have been posted earlier, reality is that loss can occur at any time during pregnancy. I lost a baby at 12 weeks.

    All you that are complaining this article made you uncomfortable, you do realize you had the option not to read it right? No one made you click on the article, open it up and read it, you chose to. So, you made yourself uncomfortable.

    You have to realize that not everyone has the same experiences with pregnancy.

  61. Samii

    Everyday I absolutely love reading the articles this app has to offer, today not so much. I have miscarried 4 years ago and I’ve never been the same. I hate anyone that has a child and always push myself away from having close friends. I think this app could have done with being earlier as all I’m going to wait for till next Tuesday (scan day) is that there’s something wrong. Whereas if it had been done more gently and earlier on I feel more people may be able to digest and put the info in a safe place. Maybe also add at what stages people normally start buying things or doing anti natal classes? I have no clue about these and don’t want to do them too early!

  62. Rachel

    I’m sure this article was helpful to some but i just wanted to say this I had my son 3 years ago at 39 weeks he was stillborn. I grieved and still do I went through many emotions. I am now 11 weeks with my second child ams yes that worry is still in the back of my mind but I have found that worrying only makes you not enjoy tthe present. So I have learned miscarriages and stillborns are so very painful but enjoy the moments you have with the new baby even of its just in the womb sing laugh talk to them tell them u love them and cherish all the moments in the womb and out of the womb. My worry will never bring back my precious angel but it will rob me of the joy of becoming a mom to my new baby. I pray to God this baby is healthy but I’m so glad that with my angel I cherished him and didn’t worry Cuz that was all the time I got . so momma’s yes be careful but also cherish all the time you have and worry less. You will never be given something you can’t handle. Don’t worry over tomorrow make the most of today.

  63. Kerra

    This article was much needed. My husband and I have been trying since we wed in September. In January we finally confirmed we were pregnant. I went in for my monthly checkup in February and the size hadn’t changed. I found out the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. It was heartbreaking because we told everyone. I had surgery shortly after and I was depressed, sad and angry. I lost faith because I didn’t understand how people who aren’t prepared get pregnant and have successful pregnancies. We had our first child out of wedlock and raising her was difficult. Neither of us were ready financially. This time we were ready; married, with jobs, and in love. I resented a lot of people when I miscarried. We tried again after a few months and we are pregnant. I’m only 10 weeks now and I still haven’t told many people. I will wait until my first trimester is over this time. I take it one day at a time and pray daily.

  64. Mikki

    Well written article, but I agree this should have been placed earlier. I have had 2 miscarriages both around 7 weeks and I think this would have helped me at the time. I am still a bit anxious of losing this one but because I have never got this far before I am feeling more confident. I think because miscarriages get lower in risk the further in you get then perhaps 7/8 week mark would have been better to have this. But then again you can’t please everyone.

  65. Laura

    I think this is terrible to have as a 10+5 it should have been put in sooner than now or after 12 weeks. I must admit I didnt read it ,probably a good well written piece just not something I want to read at this stage of my pregnancy!

  66. Elina

    I agree that you can’t leave out those who experienced the loss and are still going through this, because we are many, and we know many. Even if everything goes well for you, it might help to know what a woman who has lost feels, no matter how early or late during pregnancy, as you might meet one. The good thing is that those who read this article here have a little miracle inside, which might be a savior for those who lost before.

  67. Samantha

    im shocked to see ppl suggest this article should not have been added as some ppl have not been through a miscarriage!
    So because some of us who are still suffering from a loss should not receive information on how to cope with a new pregnancy?!
    We should not be left, just because ‘you’ are worried about a loss.
    We have been through it so deserve supporting words like in this article. I thought it was beautiful

  68. Jaiden

    As someone who was 9weeks and lost it before I ever got to see my beautiful baby, I had no one to tell me what to expect or to help me through the roller coaster of emotion. This article would have been wonderful help when I needed it and its definitely spot on I’m 10+5weeks today and I’m terrified of loosing this one as well.
    Anyway thank you

  69. Emma

    Although this article is written beautifully and is full of good information and help/advice.
    I personally don’t like opening my app today to read this. As I’m only 10+4 weeks pregnant and already scared/worried/paranoid and every little thing is scaring me, I now am even more scared. I haven’t had a scan or a heartbeat appointment yet so I’m petrified that I’m no longer pregnant.
    I personally think this article should be on the message boards rather than a daily blog. No need to worry the worriers any more 🙂

  70. Ashley

    This was a good read for me. My first pregnancy was perfect, I had a beautiful baby girl, we wanted to expand our family and were thrilled when we found out baby number two was on the way. I also found out my cousin was pregnate and she was a couple of weeks ahead of me. Then I started spotting but it didn’t stop after about a week I went to the hospital to get it checked and there I got to see my baby for the first and last time. I miscarried when I got home later that night. It was very devastating. It was hard for me to watch my cousin go through her pregnancy every mile stone she hit all I could think about is I’m suppose to be doing that with my baby. Now I am pregnate again, it is very scary after a miscarriage, I’m almost waiting for it to happen again, everytime I use the restroom I think I’m going to see that major warning sign. Oh did I mention my same cousin is pregnate as well. It is good to know that I’m not crazy and other people have felt the same emotions I have.

  71. Rebecca

    As lovely and helpful as this article probably is for women who have experienced a loss, I’m not sure this is an appropriate place to post it. The chat rooms and Google are already full of women and their very touching stories, you know the ones that scare the hell out of first timers.

  72. Deann

    This article couldn’t be more true. Knowing so many other women go through it doesn’t make it any easier at all. The only people that know what to say or not to say are those who’ve been through it themselves. I myself am 10weeks 5 days with baby #6. My 1st was at 10 weeks in 08, then I had a beautiful little girl who is now 5. Then in March 2011 I was just finding out as I was miscarrying at 5 weeks. In March 2012 I was 16 weeks and lost my Angel baby due to a subcorionic hematoma. My husband and I sold all of our baby things and decided we weren’t ready for another, we didn’t know if we ever would be. Then in October we found out we were expecting again. We we’re excited, we we’re scared. Then in June 2013 the most adorable little boy joined our family. Now we decided to try again and low and behold everything is going well, although the reality is always there, as with our 2 healthy children I remember God is faithful and let that calm me instead of being overcome with anxiety and stress which were very present in all of my losses. I still think of what would’ve been but then I look at my babies and know they wouldn’t be here if the others were. I also realize this is Gods plan for our family.

  73. Stacie

    I have two children and I’ve lost two. This article gives me some anxiety that the chance of miscarriage is still very real at 10 and a half weeks. My losses were both at 7 weeks. I’ve recently moved out of state for a new job and am in the in between stages on insurance. I have yet to get prenatal care. I did go to a clinic at 9 weeks and they confirmed a heartbeat via ultra sound. But this article has my stomach in knots :/

  74. Michelle

    It’s like this app knows me. Just the other day i went to the doctor for the first time and at first they said i wad 10 weeks then they said i was 8. The doctor came in after the ultra sound and said that my baby probably won’t make it. The day after i couldn’t even eat anything i was so upset. This article helps. Thank you

  75. Sharon

    i am 10+5 and already terrified I don’t think this is the kind of thing people want to read you’ve got to think about people who have never miscarried and on their first pregnancy it’s not nice to read at this time in pregnancy!!!

  76. Angels

    Thank you for this article almost 7 months ago I had my first misscarage at 2 months pregnant and it was really hard. I have 3 heathy girls and I was shocked that it happened to me. I am now almost 2 months pregnant again and I am scared to death. Even though this pregnancy is going very well. It is nice to read an article that portrays the real emotions.

  77. Hilary

    This article is beautiful! Thank you! I only wish I had found it sooner, right after my loss. If not for my son, I would never have gotten out of bed after my loss. It was the most devastating thing I ever experienced , and very few of those I usually lean on understood, including my husband & my mom. Someone to talk to & really understand is one of the most important helps toward healing.

  78. lucy J

    Thank you for the article about miscarriage even though I’m already scared out of my mind. This is exactly what a 10+5 pregnant woman want to read about!!!

  79. Christine

    I lost my lil girl victoria 3 yrs ago I was 20 weeks pregnant I still hurt for her. I am currently 11 weeks pregnant and scared af I want to enjoy being pregnant but now all I feel is fear, it’s so rough losing a baby…

  80. candice

    This is to Linda. I am very sorry for your loss. And I know that diesnt really help your pain as I have been in your shoes. I tried for 3 years to get pregnant and I lost the baby at 11 weeks. Give yourself some time to heal physically and emotionally then try again. I did and my son is now almost 5. I will never forget that 1st little one but my son being born healthy brings me more joy then I have ever felt. It will happen for you too. In the mean time mourne all you want in your own time because there is nothing like the loss of a baby.

  81. Linda

    Thank you for this article which was as a relief to me. I was 11 week pregnant when I lost my baby. This was a disaster to me. I was desperate for this baby and have been trying to conceive for two years. I can’t forget how much I cried when I saw the two pink lines. I couldn’t believe it and went to the hospital for blood test which was positive. I was over the moon and couldn’t sleep that night. But happiness doesn’t last very long. The terrible moment was when I started bleeding but still had hope. However it completely vanished when the doctor told me that the baby measures behind, and along with bleeding are definite signs of miscarriage. He told me come back after a couple of days. When I went, he told me the baby’s gone and you need a D&C. His words drove me nuts and started throwing everything around me. It’s only two days after I lost a piece of my heart, and what makes things worse is that my sister and my sister-in-law are 13 week pregnant. I’m desperate! I’m depressed!I can’t stand this horrible situation.

  82. candice

    I have suffered 3 loses tge first I had premie and had to watch her die as she just could not make it then an early miscarriage followed by a perfectly healthy pregnancy giving me my now 4 year old son. During that pregnancy I couldnt even come ti terms with being pregnant I was so aftaid of losing him. When he was born I felt whole finally and part of the ache in my heart healed. 3 years later I found out I was pregnant again and was ecstatic then found out it was twin girls. … even more excited then went to get a checkup abd found out one of my angels died inside of me and was probably going to take her sister out with her. I struggled the rest of my pregnancy to keep my Ana alive. Finally at 37 weeks I brought my beautiful miracle into this world and when I looked at her all I felt was guilt that I couldnt save Bella too. I still miss Bella everytime I look at my Ana but the fact that she is here is a miracle. I am now 11 weeks pregnant and fight fear of another lose everyday but if I have learned anything through my many loses is that there is a reason for everything and you have to live for today and all the blessings you already have. Hopefully I will carry to term and Daniel and Ana will greet their new baby in a few months and that thought gives me hope for the future

  83. Jess

    this was a nicely written article. I have had two early miscarriages – the last one being twins and it is something you never put out of your mind. My husband and I just found out we’re pregnant again so we’re hoping things turn out differently this time.

  84. ifeoluwa

    Pregnancy loss is a very painful thing for all women as I’ve experienced from my best friend who’s had 2 miscarriages, the current one just last year..we were both pregnant at the time although I was 2weeks earlier than she was..It was a devastating thing as we grieved together and it got me worried about my preg that time. I’m 38ks today and i and my husband is seriously expecting our little angel any moment from now as this is our first baby

  85. steph

    Really nice and true article.we lost our little Poppy last August at 24weeks. I am expecting our rainbow baby since 5weeks but our lovely daughter will always have a special place in our hearts. I m thinking to all of the mummy’s who have lost a baby as this is a heartbreaking experience that change you forever.

  86. Emily

    Hi,

    I didn’t want to open my pregnancy app today to read about loss, especially given that I am only 10 weeks 5 days and that is still deemed as a sensitive period.

    A beautifully written article through I am sure I just can’t read articles like this.

  87. Melissa

    Nicely written article, a good summary of the trauma surrounding miscarriage. I lost my first pregnancy at 9 weeks and am now 10+6 into my second pregnancy. The worry casts a strong shadow, but I did relax a bit once I passed the point when the miscarriage happened, and we were able to see (and even hear!) the heartbeat. Still, losing a pregnancy changed me forever. However I am feeling more optimistic now than I would have thought possible after the miscarriage.

  88. Sara

    Perfectly written article. On July 29th I lost a pregnancy at about 7 weeks. We had been trying so hard to conceive after our first daughter turned one, and we were over the moon when we actually got pregnant. The loss was so hard for me. I felt like I had done something wrong. After a few more months I became pregnant again and am currently 10 weeks 5 days. Yesterday was the first time we got to see this baby on an ultrasound, and it was exciting, but I can’t help but worry all the time because of our previous loss. This is definitely a different feeling than when I had my daughter. It has forever changed me.

  89. Erin

    this article really hits home. I am currently 11 weeks and lost my isabella this past August. She was born sleeping at 41 weeks and it has been the hardest struggle I have ever faced. This article really hits the nail on the head about a pregnancy loss. I wouldn’t wish my pain and sorrow on my own worst enemy. Prayers for every mama who has dealt with this

  90. Lisa

    I was 7 weeks pregnant with my first child. Iam 42 and did not use any IVF or fertility drugs. It was a blessing that I conceived. We will probably try in 2 months once my body has had a chance to heal..

  91. Nicole

    I’m praying for all of you ladies to find peace and closure. I can not begin to imagine what you all must have gone through. All 3 of my sister-in-laws have experienced losses, so I have always had this fear in the back of my mind something will go wrong or I’ll jinx the pregnancy in some way. This was a twin pregnancy and one vanished. I never grieved the loss, but it has definitely kept me from being truly excited about the healthy baby. I feel too guilty to be excited. I’m not even sure if that makes any sense. My coping mechanism is usually to put things out of my mind, which is probably not best.

  92. Brittany

    Its been a month an 5 days since I got the devastating news. I was 26 weeks pregnant when I gave birth to my son Gabriel Zane, the only explanation I have been given was that his umbilical cord was badly twisted and was tight around his belly button. I didn’t have the perfect pregnancy but I had no complications. This has been the worst nightmare for me and my fiancee he was our first and only baby, we waited a very long time to try for a baby and he was taken in an instant. I feel so lost an empty. It gets better everyday, but this pain will never go away. I pray for strength everyday to continue living my life without him. And because of my son my life will forever be changed. If your reading my story an have suffered like I have I pray God gives u strength!

  93. Amy

    I lost my daughter at 34.5 weeks I am currently pregnant at 10 weeks 4 days I can’t even begin to feel excited. Grieving is a strange thing one minute angry the next crying. My daughter was born on the 1st of September so it wasn’t long ago. She was called eryn grace health 5.2 lb but I have to tell myself that the next baby is never going to replace her just become another part of my life and heart.

  94. Vanessa

    This article does hit home for me, I had an eptopic pregnancy at 16 weeks. They had to surgically remove the baby. The doctors told me that after this I might have more pregnancies like this because of my damaged Fallopian tube. This article is right about being mad or angry when you see other people have babies, but I have learned to be happy for them. It’s nobody’s fault, and it doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop trying. Babies are beautiful.

  95. Maferg01

    This is very well said. I lost my pregnancy at 10 weeks finding out at my first dr appointment that I didn’t have a heartbeat and had to follow up with a D&c. This was a very tough time. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to lose a baby that had been carried to term.

  96. Christine

    I’ve had 3 miscarriages, of which the last was twins. Psychologically it has damaged me more than I care to admit, and I am not the same person that I was prior to that.
    I am blessed in the fact that before all this, I had a healthy baby boy who is about to turn 10.
    I know that without him, I would be in a much darker place than I am now.
    Stay strong ladies!!!

  97. Shelby Bowes

    I lost my daughter at 18+3 weeks in March 2011.. Its definitely changed me and my outlook. Her big brother was the hardest to break the news too he 8 at the time :'( I’m currently expecting my rainbow 19+5.. This pregnancy is a rollercoaster of emotions xx finding the positives can be hard, but i try to everyday.. Love to all those who have suffered a loss

  98. Maggie H

    My husband and I lost our first born, a baby girl who was stillborn at 42wks. There was no reason behind it, and it changed us forever. Being currently pregnant with our rainbow baby boy, we are very apprehensive and fearful of what will happen this time around. All the feelings are valid but the hardest part for us was coming home empty handed with an empty car seat. A home that felt so empty an a nursery door that stayed closed for about a month. That day we went in there we spent 90% of it crying. Support groups and counseling helped a lot and having many friends and family around did too. Check out stillstandingmag.com for a great online support site. RIP my little angel baby, Poppy Elena 3/6/13