Many people talk about the all-important mother baby bonding that takes place after childbirth. Some describe this time as an “Ah-Ha” moment, when they experienced such joy and love that they were overwhelmed like nothing before. Other women feel the process of bonding with baby took time and didn’t happen immediately.  The reality is that your individual circumstances and your experiences during labor and delivery can have an impact on how well you feel you bonded with baby.

The best advice about bonding with your baby, is to allow it to happen in its own time. Don’t feel pressured to make something magical happen, and realize that you have spent the entirety of your pregnancy bonding with your baby.

Additionally, the following 5 tips will help you feel even more connected to your baby!

1.  Give yourself time to heal! Those precious moments when you first see your baby are magical, indeed. In the hospital setting, however, when the doctors are poking and prodding you and your baby, you are exhausted, and inundated with visitors – you can feel a little detached.

2. Make sure you have time for just you and your baby! Seriously – kick well wishers out, or ask that they only visit during visiting hours. Just like your baby is adjusting to breathing air, you are adjusting to motherhood. You need time to BE with your baby, by yourself – or with just you and your significant other. If others find it rude, then so be it. Be very clear that you would like some private time.

3. Keep your baby in your room with you rather than sending him or her to the nursery. Having your baby with you, in skin-to-skin contact, not only helps with lactation, but also helps with the mother baby bonding experience. Plus, you will adjust to the noises that he or she makes, and your baby will feel safe and secure knowing that you are there.

4.  Keep a camera handy and take lots of pictures. You cannot recreate these first moments and before you know it you will be home and your baby will be crawling. Having the pictures to look back on helps you to remember those feelings in the first hours and days, and helps you to realize just how much you and your baby DID bond after delivery.
You can also use our Baby+ App for iPhone / iPad or Android to record your baby’s milestones and unforgettable moments, or use the App to create a time-lapse video by taking a picture of your baby every day. The App will then automatically produce a beautiful video.

5. Give yourself time. Adjusting to motherhood, in addition to dealing with a multitude of hormonal fluctuations is not always an easy transition. If you don’t have that “Ah-Ha” moment that people talk about, give yourself a break and try not to worry about it. Sometimes – likely in most cases – this bonding is built around time and togetherness.

What YOU will realize, is that although the individual mother baby bonding experience is different for everyone, YOU WILL BOND WITH YOUR NEW LITTLE ONE!

Do you enjoy this App? Good news! You can now also download our new Baby App for iPhone / iPad or Android. Click Baby+ iOS or Baby+ Android to install the App, and prepare for the arrival of your little one(s).

Written By Stef, Mom of 4 @Momspirational

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.

As mothers, we have been programmed to expect some amazing things in the immediate days, weeks and months that follow the birth of our baby.  There has been so much glamorization about baby bonding after childbirth, that many women go into labor and delivery and expect to instantaneously be transformed the exact moment they see their new baby. They expect to be over flowing with a feeling of love and happiness so great, that no other experience on earth can compare. Certainly, you will feel many new things when you hear, see and touch your baby for the first time – but it may not be exactly what you expected. And you know what, that’s okay. And normal.

So, what happens, when after you have a baby, instead of feeling elated and giddy – you are disappointed, frightened, tired and filled with anxiety?

Ask any mother on the planet, and you will realize that the baby bonding experience DOES exist. However, it doesn’t always exist in the way it is depicted in the movies. And, your experience with your baby may be different than your best friend’s was, or change from one of your own births to your second birth.

The reality is that when you have a baby, you never quite know how you are going to feel. Many people have long and exhausting birth experiences that didn’t go as planned, which can leave the mother tired for days. Other women, begin to feel worried that they will not be a good enough mother. Even more mothers suddenly realize the immense responsibility that has just literally, landed on their chest when they look into the eyes of their newborn baby for the first time. Certainly, you feel love in all new ways – but this ‘new love’ can be laced with many confusing emotions as well.

Making matters worse is that in the early months of having a newborn, you may feel confused. You will have a plethora of people telling you what to do and how to do it. You will be dealing with hormonal surges that make puberty look easy.  And, you will be tired.  Caring for a baby is a full time, 24 hour per day, 7 days per week JOB! Your baby may cry a lot, and you may get so caught up in just caring for your baby that you don’t really take the time to stop and smell the roses so to speak. While your instincts may long to hold and rock your baby – the baby books will warn you against doing so in fear that you will spoil your baby. The list of things that can go astray after you have a baby are endless  And even if your instincts are present, it takes time to realize that it is okay to listen to them.

Some moms, (myself included) even felt that my baby didn’t like me. It seemed that everyone else could calm my colicky baby EXCEPT for me, which was a huge blow to my maternal self esteem. I spent hours crying about it, thinking I was the worst mother ever.

But here’s the IMPORTANT THING!  You and your baby WILL BOND. And you will bond in your own way. It may not be this huge, life changing A-HA moment like you expected, but it WILL happen. One day, you will just feel it in the deepest part of your heart and soul.  If it doesn’t happen right away, there is absolutely, positively no reason to beat yourself up and revert to thoughts that you are a bad mother. You’re not. The relationship between you and your baby takes time. While some of the bonds between the two of you started during your pregnancy, there will always be many things to learn about your baby. Just like he or she will learn many things about you as time goes on. And the relationship is always and ever changing from the moment you give birth to the end of your days together.

The best advice if you are concerned about bonding with your baby is to just relax. Allow things to happen in their own time. Give yourself credit for going through a major lifestyle change and be patient. You were chosen to be the mother of your baby by powers larger than you – and you have to learn to trust that you have all the tools already inside you to be the best mom EVER!

Written By Stef, Mom of 4 @MOM-Spirational

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.