The Partner’s Role in Breastfeeding

You may not have the necessary equipment, but that doesn’t mean you get to sit breastfeeding out. Breastfeeding may seem like a one woman job, but there’s actually a lot of behind-the-scenes tasks that you can take care of. So, what can you do to help ensure your baby reaps the benefits of the best start in life by breastfeeding? Here are some ideas to improve the father’s role in breastfeeding:

1. Support your partner – this is probably your single most important job when it comes to breastfeeding. Breastfeeding isn’t easy, in fact it can be a tough cookie to crack, and your partner is likely to need a lot of support from you to help her stay positive about breastfeeding. When faced with newborn weight loss, cracked nipples and lack of sleep, many new mums start to doubt themselves. Add to this unwanted comments from elderly relatives, strangers and friends, and it’s not wonder your partner is feeling frustrated. But with your help and support, you can help your partner realise her personal goal of breastfeeding. Be it two days, two weeks or two years – your support can help her along the way with your positivity.

2. Help your partner – during the early days especially, as she recovers from the birth, your partner will probably appreciate some help during breastfeeding. If the baby was born by cesarean, she may need you to lift the baby up and pass him to her for feeds. It could also mean getting professional help for your partner. Some women encounter breastfeeding hurdles along the way, be it mastitis, latch problems or sore nipples, and there is plenty of help available. However, some women don’t want to ask for help, and instead struggle on before giving up. You can help by finding the support your partner needs to solve her breastfeeding problems. Look for a lactation consultant, breastfeeding counselor or support group nearby that can offer assistance and diagnose any issues.

3. Words of encouragement – it’s surprising the difference a few words of encouragement can make in the workplace, and this is true for breastfeeding, too. Let your partner know that she’s doing a great job, that you’re in awe of her, and that she’s a great mother – even if you think she’s lost her mind! On a tough day, these few words could be all it takes to give her the strength to keep going.

4. Let her sleep – breastfeeding is a full-time job, and your partner is likely to be up a lot during the night feeding the baby. Try to help her catch up on her sleep by encouraging her to nap during the day, looking after the baby for a couple of hours, and doing a night shift. Of course you’ll still need to wake her for feeds, but at least she’ll be able to catch up on a couple of hours in the meantime. If your partner is expressing for bottle feeds, you could give these during the night to let your partner get a proper rest (though she may wake anyway because her breasts get too full).

5. Offer a butler service – a feed lasts around 45 minutes for the first few months, so make sure your partner has everything within arm’s reach during that time. The television remote, a magazine, her phone, a drink and some healthy snacks are all things she might want nearby. Breastfeeding is thirsty (and hungry) work, so make sure she has enough to eat and drink while she’s trapped under the baby. Make sure she knows that whatever she needs, you will get it for her.

Experienced breastfeeders, how did your partners help to support you to breastfeed? Are there any tips you would add to the above list?

Want to see some educational videos on breastfeeding? Good news! You can now download our Baby App for iPhone / iPad or Android, which has lots of useful movies and information on breastfeeding. Click Baby+ iOS or Baby+ Android to install the App, and prepare for the arrival of your little one(s).

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2018. All rights reserved.

Seven Ways to Help Him Prepare for Fatherhood

Becoming a father is a huge thing, and it will undoubtedly change your partner’s life forever. Whether your pregnancy was a long time coming or a complete surprise, your partner is likely to have some worries about becoming a dad. You know all those little worries and insecurities that keep you awake at night? Well, he’s probably feeling the same way. Here are seven ways to help him prepare for fatherhood:

  1. Communicate – talk and listen. Tell him your expectations, and how he can help you out during pregnancy and motherhood, but also take the time to listen to his concerns and anxieties. Offer support and guidance where necessary, and be understanding towards his feelings.
  2. Help him to help you – during pregnancy and the first few weeks of parenthood, your partner will be tasked with looking after you while you take care of the baby. Make sure he knows this, and let him know how you want him to help. Cooking meals, tidying up, laundry and acting as a gatekeeper for unwanted guests are all important roles that your partner can take on to help you out during this time.
  3. Bump bonding – you spend every single second of the pregnancy with your developing baby. You feel the kicks, the hiccups, and notice when the baby is sleeping. While your partner may feel lucky to have avoided the backache, swollen ankles and hormonal rollercoaster of pregnancy, he’s also probably a little jealous. Without even trying, you’re already starting to bond with your baby. To make the transition to fatherhood easier, you should encourage your partner to do the same. Feeling the kicks, talking to the baby, and generally taking a hands-on approach to your bump can help him prepare for being a dad.
  4. Preparing the nest – while nesting is typically the domain of heavily pregnant women, there’s no reason why expectant dads can’t get in on the act too. Putting together the crib, choosing the car seat and getting the nursery ready, are all great ways to get your partner involved in preparing for the baby.
  5. Birth bonding – it’s not just mums and babies who benefit from skin to skin, it has been shown to help dads bond with their newborns, too. Make sure your partner is topless for his first cuddle with his new baby, and encourage him to spend a bit of time each day having skin to skin contact with his new baby.
  6. Baby care – get your partner involved in baby care from the very beginning. If you’re breastfeeding, your partner won’t be able to feed the baby, but he can play an active role in your breastfeeding journey by supporting you. Changing nappies, getting the baby dressed and carrying the baby in a sling are all things dads can do straight after the birth.
  7. Reassurance and confidence – the first few weeks as a parent can be terrifying, and you may feel worried that you’re doing everything wrong. Well, rest assured that your partner feels the same way. He’s just as nervous as you, though he may not always act it. Reassure your partner when he’s doing a good job, and help to build his confidence in his new role. Trust him, encourage him and appreciate him, just as he is doing with you.

Is your partner nervous about becoming a new dad? How are you helping him to prepare for fatherhood?

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.

Preparing to be a Father

Preparing to be a father for the first time can be overwhelming. You are about to fall head over heels in love with a person you’ve only just met. Changing dirty nappies, running around the park, first days at school, first dates, growing up – you have it all to come. From the first time you hold your baby in your arms, your life with change – but how can you prepare for something so huge? Here are some ideas:

1. Do your homework – there are hundreds of books on the topic of parenting. You don’t need to read them all, but you may find it useful to read a couple. Ask your partner about books she has enjoyed, or ask any friends or family you feel are good parents to recommend books they found useful as new parents.

2. Speak to fathers – it can be hard to describe what fatherhood is really like, but those best placed to try are fathers. Talk to your friends and family who are fathers, and ask them for advice. They may be able to offer tips and suggestions that could help you, or even let you in on things they wish they’d done differently.

3. Speak to mothers – it’s not just the fathers you need to talk to … get chatting with their partners too. Ask the mothers what makes a good dad, and ask for examples of things to avoid. They may be able to give you tips to make those first few months easier, and even how to ensure you and your child share a loving relationship through to adulthood.

4. Speak to your partner – you won’t be raising this baby alone, so find out what your co-pilot thinks. What will she expect from you, what sort of parents does she want you to be, and what sort of parents does she want to avoid becoming? Be honest about how you both feel, discuss your hopes for the future, and try to work out ways to make them reality.

5. Go to class – antenatal classes aren’t just for pregnant women, they’re just as much designed with you in mind. The classes will teach you the basic of baby care, as well as helping to prepare you for the first few months of fatherhood. If you’re not used to being around babies, those first few weeks can be a bit of a shock, but antenatal classes can help by adjusting your expectations for life with a newborn.

6. Take paternity leave– whether you are able to take paid paternity leave will depend upon which country you live in, but try to organise some time off for immediately after the birth. Time off from work will help you to get to know your newborn, support your wife while she recovers from the birth, and enjoy some time with your new family. Take whatever you can afford off. You won’t regret spending that time with your new baby.

7. Start as you mean to go on – get stuck into being a father. Changes nappies, give cuddles, wear your baby in a sling, and bathe your baby. Your baby could hear your voice in the uterus, and so knows exactly who you are immediately after the birth. It may take a while to find your feet as a father, but learning on the job is the best way to get involved.

How are you preparing to be a father?

Written by Fiona, proud owner of a toddler, @fiona_peacock

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.