With all the changes going on, both physically and mentally, it’s little wonder your relationship is feeling a little neglected. As you prepare to welcome your child into the world, and adjust to seeing your partner as a parent, you may find that the romance is suffering. So, how can you nurture your relationship during pregnancy?

1. Invest in some baby-free days – it can sometimes feel that every spare hour is spent preparing for the baby. When you’re not at your desk or asleep (or asleep at your desk if it’s the first trimester), you’re writing baby lists, shopping for baby items or reading about parenting. It’s official, the baby has taken over your life. Now is the time to claw back a bit of personal time, so that you can make the most of your partner before the baby is born (and really does take over your life). Set aside some baby-free days where everything baby-related is out of bounds. No prenatal classes, no worrying, and no internet research. Think back to your pre-pregnancy days, and spend some time doing the things you used to do as a couple. If your schedules and to-do list allow it, try to have a baby-free day every few weeks for the duration of the pregnancy.

2. Spend time as a couple preparing for the baby – this is the polar opposite of the above point, but both are equally important. Some dads-to-be feel left out during pregnancy, and feel they are not as involved as they would like to be. Get your partner involved in the decision-making process – let him coo over tiny baby outfits with you, choose colours for the nursery, and chat about what life will be like once the baby arrives. Prenatal classes are a great way to get him involved in the pregnancy, and will help to prepare him for the birth as well as life as a new parent. You don’t need to spend all of your time together discussing the baby, but make sure you involve him in decisions and discussions. The overwhelming majority of men want to be part of this process, and some end up feeling pushed out when they aren’t.

3. Go dating – no, not dating other people to check you made the right decision – go on a date with your partner. No doubt you have been told this so many times you’re sick of hearing it, but it’s true. You really should make the most of the time you have before the baby arrives. The first few months of parenting are amazing, but also exhausting. It’s easy for weeks to slip by without you really noticing the missed time together. So, while you are waiting for the baby to arrive, try to have regular date nights. Go for meals, go to the cinema, and go for day trips – do all the things that may become more difficult once you’re a family of three.

4. Go away for a weekend – if you’re currently saving up to buy all your big baby items, a weekend away is probably the last thing on your mind. Remember though, it will be at least a little trickier to get away once the baby arrives. So if you can, try to have a mini break during your pregnancy. Whether you opt for two weeks away, a mini break, or simply a weekend together with no distractions, try to spend a block of quality time together before the baby arrives.

5. Get intimate – all pregnancies are different. While some women may find themselves constantly distracted by arousal, others may be completely put off the idea of sex altogether. If you don’t want to have sex, there are other ways you can enjoy intimacy during pregnancy. From affectionate massages (particularly good if you’re suffering from aches and pains), to relaxing baths together, make sure you are spending time with your partner. If you don’t want to have sex, be honest with your partner about this. If you do want to have sex, you may have to experiment with positions until you find one that is comfortable.

How are you nurturing your relationship during pregnancy?

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2018. All rights reserved.

You’ve probably already noticed that babies can be pretty time consuming. You spend most of your waking hours (so all your hours then, since there’s not much sleep happening right now) tending to her needs. You are either changing nappies, feeding, soothing or entertaining. It’s all consuming, and it doesn’t leave much time for anything else.

You’re probably guilty of neglecting your relationship since the birth, after all, there isn’t much opportunity for impromptu date nights when you have a newborn in the house. The important thing to remember is that this is temporary. Your baby won’t always be a baby. Before you know it, she’ll be fighting for her independence and enjoying time away from you. In the meantime, however, you need to make sure your relationship still gets some attention.

If you have willing babysitters and would like some time away, organize a date night for the two of you. You don’t have to go far, even a dinner date at your local restaurant will be a pleasant change. And you’ll be able to eat your food before it goes cold, talk about luxury! If you don’t have babysitters to hand, or don’t feel ready to leave your baby just yet, don’t worry, there are plenty of ways you can nurture your relationship without leaving your baby behind. How about trying one of the following date night ideas for new parents:

1. Go gourmet

With a newborn baby at home, you’re probably living off a very questionable diet these days. Biscuits and take away, anyone? Have a date night at home by preparing a top notch meal for you both to enjoy once the baby is asleep. Choose something that can be served as and when you’re ready to eat it, so it’s not a big deal if the baby wakes up when you’re about to eat. Set the table, light some candles and enjoy a night of adult conversation.

2. Movie night

Every night is movie night when you have a baby, right? Make this movie night extra special by picking a film you’re both desperate to see, and making sure you have popcorn and movie snacks at hand. Snuggle up under a blanket, and spend some time relaxing together in front of a movie.

3. Family day out

A family day out might not sound like much of a date, but you might be surprised to discover just how lovely these days can be. While your baby sleeps soundly in the pram or sling, you and your partner can enjoy a walk around some stately gardens, followed by a lunch date at your favorite eatery. Yes, there will be more diaper changes and breastfeeds than your typical date, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a lovely day to spend connecting with your partner.

4. A change of scenery

Escape from the hustle and bustle of daily life. Get away from work, away from the dirty dishes, and spend a night away together in a hotel. There’s no need to leave your baby with someone else, your baby can go with you. Taking some time out could be just what you all need, a little break from reality to enjoy some quality family time and really appreciate each other.

5. Games night

If you’re guilty of spending most of your evenings in front of the television, you may feel like you’ve not really spoken to your partner for a while. Turn the television off and get hold of some board games to spend an evening having fun together. This will give you the time and space to chat to each other, as well as providing some fun.

How are you looking after your relationship in these early days of parenthood?

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

For some dads, bonding starts as soon as they first see a beating heart on the ultrasound scan. For others, it can take until the baby is born before they really feel bonded to their child. And for others, bonding is a process that can take a little longer. There is no ‘right time’ to feel bonded with your child. Though it’s not something many dads talk about, bonding can be a slow process that takes places over the first few months of a baby’s life.

Many dads take on the role of carer after the birth. Caring for their partner as she recovers from the birth, and enabling her to care for the baby. Of course, he’ll probably get put in charge of diaper changes, but he may find that the bulk of the caring is done by the new mom. If the mom is breastfeeding, that can take up a large chunk of time each day, so it’s no wonder that bonding takes dads a little longer.

Here are seven easy ways you can help your partner to bond with the new baby:

1. Get him involved

You don’t have to stop breastfeeding to enable dad to bond with the baby. If you want to, you could express milk so dad can take over one feed each day, but there’s no need to if you don’t want to pump. Your partner can build a strong relationship with your baby without ever having to feed her, so don’t fall into the trap of blaming breastfeeding. Many dads take on the role of chief diaper changer instead. It’s not as glamorous, perhaps, but at least they don’t end up with cracked nipples. Leave the diaper changing things in another room so that each diaper change gives your partner some time alone with the baby.

2. Bathtime

The evening bath is another favorite of dads. It gives them the chance to have fun and play with their baby, whilst also being an important part of the evening routine. While your baby may be breastfed to sleep, bathtime allows dad to be involved in this important bedtime tradition. Enjoy some time to yourself whilst they bond at bathtime.

3. Baby massage

Baby massage is another great activity for helping your baby to unwind before bed. It’s also a great way for your partner to unwind after a long day at work. Sign your partner up to a baby massage course so he can master the techniques. Massaging the baby each day will give dad a chance to bond with the baby whilst also building his parenting confidence.

4. Get a sling

Babies love to be carried. You’ve probably noticed your baby is happier in your arms than in a crib or pram. It’s not practical to carry your baby at all times, after all, you need to use your hands for other things occasionally. A sling or wrap can solve this problem for you. It allows you to carry your baby whilst keeping your hands free. A sling or wrap is a lovely way for dad to bond with the new baby. They can go for an evening stroll together, or he can wear the baby around the house for comfort. It also provides you with the benefit of a little bit of touch-free time.

5. Special little things

If you see someone having fun with your baby, it’s almost impossible not to mimic this fun at a later date. Everyone plays differently, and if you see dad having fun in a new way with the baby, it’s only natural that you’d want to get in on the action too. Leaving the new game to them, however, allows them to have a special activity that the two of them can share. This is a great way to encourage bonding, help dad feel irreplaceable and help them start building special memories.

6. Think before you speak

If you’re home all day with the baby, it can be frustrating when dad gets home from work and starts doing things ‘wrong’. Think carefully before you criticize, because you could knock his already fragile parenting confidence. Does it really matter whether he does things a little differently to you? You’re both individuals and, of course, will have different ways of doing things. As long as your baby is safe, loved and happy, is it really worth mentioning that he’s put the baby’s clothes on backward?

7. Make time for him

Since the baby came along, you probably haven’t been able to spend much quality time with your partner. You’re both exhausted by the end of the day, perhaps even irritable, and it’s hard to find the time to invest in your relationship. Remember, your partner is a new parent too. He’s just as tired, emotional and unsure as you are. Try to make time for him. Ask him how he’s feeling, show him that you care and tell him you love him. Don’t forget to tell him what an amazing father you think he is.

How does your partner bond with the baby?

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.