Single and Pregnant

Pregnancy is a time to celebrate family. Yet many women today find themselves single and pregnant. Sometimes by choice, and other times by their partners inability to accept responsibility. In fact, according to statistics, being single and pregnant is no longer a ‘condition’ afflicting only teenagers and there are thousands of woman making the empowered decision to go through pregnancy alone. The US Census reports that 1/3rd of the 6 million pregnant women over the age of 22 are single.

See – you ARE NOT alone.

Still, in a world that offers so much information for pregnant woman and ‘their husbands’ it can be hard to feel like your relationship status allows you to have a socially ‘accepted’ pregnancy when you go it alone. However, the good news is that the times are changing. Women today are making empowered and smart choices about whether or not partnering with the father of their child is a good idea, and often realize that going it alone is a better option in the long run. Even better is that women who proceed with their pregnancies solo are able to find wonderful support systems from friends and family. Disappearing are the days of shot gun weddings and scarlet letters.

If you are single and pregnant (whether by choice or otherwise) you owe it to yourself to take the time to enjoy your pregnancy and feel happy about the new little baby that will be entering your life. There may be times when you wish you had the support of loving father figure to help you with your pregnancy, but this is not a time to dwell on what could have been.

You should also take time to look into resources both local and otherwise, that can help you financially and emotionally. There are many support groups for single mothers that can not only connect you with other single pregnant mothers, but can also help you make smart choices when it comes to future planning for you and your baby. The support system of other women who are facing the same challenges of you can be a lifesaver and you may find lifelong friends.

Of course, you will be worried about how you will take care of your baby. Keep in mind that there are millions of single mothers in the world today who support their children just fine. And you might be surprised how supportive friends and family members can be when it comes to planning for childcare. If the father of your baby refuses to be involved, you also have the option of collecting child support after the baby is born.

The most important thing to remember is that you are a powerful and capable person. The judgments and thoughts of other people are none of your business, and you should never feel ashamed nor embarrassed that you are single and pregnant. One of the most important aspects of raising a happy and healthy child is the presence of a happy and emotionally healthy mother. Certainly, it can be hard to forgive someone that you feel abandoned you – but learning to do so will only make your pregnancy, and your life after delivery more enjoyable and fulfilling. Remember the only actions that you can control are your own – and you are NOT responsible for the choices made by other people.

In so many ways, it is empowering that women today have a choice to have babies on their own. Rather than remaining stuck with irresponsible partners, or in abusive relationships or with people that they don’t really love or who would not be a good parent – women today are afforded the resources and RESPECT to do it alone. Hold your head high, and have faith that whatever challenges come your way will not be more than you can handle.

Written By Stef, Mother of 4 @MOM-SPIRATIONAL

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2018. All rights reserved.

Facing an Unplanned Pregnancy

It’s a simple fact of life that not all pregnancies are planned. For some, seeing the positive test is not necessarily a time for celebration. In fact, some women may find this moment devastating. You may consider yourself too young to have a baby, or perhaps you feel your family is already complete. It could be relationship problems or financial insecurity causing you to worry about the timing of the pregnancy.

Once you have decided to progress with the pregnancy, it doesn’t mean you will feel any less shocked, or that you will all of a sudden feel 100 percent happy about the pregnancy. Even women who have tried for years to fall pregnant can experience feelings of regret during the pregnancy.

Unplanned doesn’t mean unloved

Some women experiencing unplanned pregnancies report feelings of guilt and shame around their pregnancy. It is crucial to remember that unplanned doesn’t mean unloved. Your pregnancy may have been unplanned, but that doesn’t mean you will be any less able to love your baby.

Talk about your feelings

During pregnancy, the hormonal changes, fatigue and worry over what is to come, can feel overwhelming. It’s important to talk about how you are feeling – your worries, concerns and even regrets. It is important you find a trusted person to talk to, whether that be your partner, best friend, or a support service. Do not feel ashamed of your feelings, it is completely natural to have mixed feelings about an unplanned pregnancy, and talking about it may help you to deal with these emotions.

Find support

All new parents require a strong support system, whether the pregnancy was planned or not. Having a baby is a big life change, and you will need help, especially in the early days. This support could be in the form of help with the baby or around the home, or it could be a friendly ear on tough days. Make sure you have a support system in place, and let them know in advance that you might call on them for help when the baby arrives.

Financial planning

One of the main worries for women carrying unplanned pregnancies, is the financial aspect of parenting. If you weren’t planning to have a baby just yet, chances are you haven’t got lots of money to go and blow in a baby store. As soon as possible, you should sit down and work out your finances. Speak to your employer, student services or a family planning clinic, to find out about your access to financial help. Will you qualify for maternity leave, or receive some other benefits once the baby arrives?

Planning for the future

If you’re young, and worried that having a baby will prevent you from doing certain things in life, write a to do list. Fill it with all the things you’d like to do, and all the places you want to visit in your life. Once you’ve got your list, you can start working towards things. Having a baby doesn’t mean your life is over. It may take you a little longer to achieve things now, but it doesn’t mean you have to cross them off your list for good.

Most importantly, let go of the guilt. Do not feel guilty for having an unplanned pregnancy You will still be a great mother.

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.

Will Pregnancy Help Your Marriage?

You often hear about couples who are having problems, and then find out that they are suddenly pregnant. ‘Wow,’ you think – they sure settled their problems quickly.  Or did they? Recently, the Wendy Williams Show did an episode interviewing women who admitted that they had ‘tricked’ their significant others, hoping that having a baby together would solidify and improve their relationship. Most of the women on the panel agreed that the baby did not help the relationship, and in actuality, made things much, much harder.

So will pregnancy help your marriage?

This is not something that women talk about openly. If you want a baby and your spouse doesn’t, or you are having relationship issues and feel that a baby might stick you and your partner together like Velcro, you aren’t apt to tell your friends your plans. But, we all know it happens.

The reality is that having a baby does bind two people together for the rest of their lives.  But if the relationship is rocky, unhappy, or unhealthy going in – the baby is not going to act as a fix-all.  In fact it may only complicate issues.

Consider just how expensive, and how time consuming having a baby is. Then multiply that times 10.  Your entire life will likely change in many ways. The added responsibilities and pressures of raising children can often become a point of discontent among happy parents. Having a baby, and raising a child with someone certainly exposes many things about the other person that you may have never known otherwise. And it can take a lot to work through the new parenting woes, to find a happy medium and to agree on what is best for the baby.

Suffice it to say that a baby will not make your relationship easier. And, if you and your partner are already encountering some serious issues, tying yourself to this person on purpose, for the remainder of your life, can set you up for a life long battle of the wills and wits.

Plus, having a baby – in a perfect world – should be a mutual decision. It isn’t fair for a man or for a woman to ‘trick’ their partner into having a baby – or purposely make a ‘mistake’ during sex in the hopes that a pregnancy will result. This can set up deep resentment that will not just hurt you, your partner, your relationship – but ultimately, your child to be, too.

Written By Stef, Mom of 4 @Momspirational

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.