Dealing With Gender Disappointment

If you are like many pregnant parents, you cannot wait until the day you get the ultrasound that will announce the sex of your baby.  Here you have been thinking up baby names, and planning on decorating the nursery. You may be so certain that you are having one sex or the other that you have even bought clothes in pink or blue. Maybe there is a lot of pressure from extended family to have a girl or a boy.

But what happens when and if you were wanting one gender and then find out that you are getting another? Dealing with gender disappointment can be difficult.

The cliché is that all pregnant parents want a healthy baby – and that is really all that matters.  Yet still, there are many people who feel disappointed, let down or perhaps surprised when they find out the sex of their baby, especially if it is not in line with what they thought they were having, or what they think they want.

When it comes to pregnancy, we certainly don’t have a lot of control. And for most people – being disappointed with the gender while pregnant is NOT something that you can talk about with others. It would make you appear ungrateful, or even mean, or awful – right?  The reality however is that this ‘let down’ about the gender of a baby DOES happen.

The good news, from a mother of 4 girls – is that regardless of what you think you want – you will love your baby just the same. Some women are afraid to have girls because they don’t have good relationships with their own mothers and worry that the same thing will happen to them. Some women are afraid they won’t share much in common with a son. Others believe that their partners want a son rather than a daughter and worry that the news will disappoint their partner. The equations of feelings and emotions when you find out the sex of your baby are endless. This is one reason that many people prefer to just wait until delivery day.

The truth of the matter, however, is that you are going to have what you have.

It is okay to recognize that you may be shocked, surprised, disappointed or let down. Dealing with gender disappointment doesn’t mean you are going to be an awful parent. In fact, one thing you can be guaranteed is that the day you see your baby for the first time – you will forget what you ever wanted before and realize that EVERYTHING you ever wanted is planted firmly in your arms. 

Life has an amazing way of giving us gifts that we never knew we wanted. Allow yourself to feel your emotions – and don’t beat yourself up for whatever it is you feel the day you find out the sex of your baby. Your baby girl or baby boy came to you FOR A REASON – and when it’s all said and done, everything will be perfect.

Written By Stef, Mom of 4 @Momspirational

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice.  All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.