The Best Time For Another Baby

You’ve made it through the early months, the breastfeeding struggles, the challenges of starting solids and teething. You’re nearing your baby’s first birthday in the coming weeks or months, and you’re starting to wonder if maybe it’s time to start trying to conceive again.

Everyone will have an opinion for you, but while people mean well and all have their own experiences to share, considerations to keep in mind include:

  • Your recovery from your first pregnancy: your body needs time to recover, especially essential nutrients like iron. The best way to recuperate is by eating a healthy diet of nutrient-dense foods, and by exercising regularly.
  • Breastfeeding: If you’re still breastfeeding baby #1, you can safely continue to breastfeed throughout pregnancy. However, not all women want to do so, some women have medical issues that mean baby should be weaned with a new pregnancy, and some babies may not like the changes to the milk that happen mid-pregnancy.
  • Finances: Is another baby economically feasible right now? Will having a new child now actually save money in the long run (after all, you’ve already got all the baby gear)?

Other parents will tell you that there are pros and cons to each scenario …

When pregnancies occur close together, you’re still in baby mode so you’ve got the diapers, wipes and changing table still in the nursery and all the baby supplies are still likely out or easily accessible. Your children may share the same interests, activities and toys throughout much of their childhood. Your home will be pretty chaotic, because everyone will need your attention and supervision at the same time. Your time out of the workforce may not be as long, though closely spaced maternity leaves will cause some interruption.

When babies are born 2-4 years apart, you may have more patience and more knowledge (and a more defined parenting philosophy). Your children may share many of the same interests; though, if they attend different schools eventually, you may have twice the work. If your older child is attending preschool, you may have some baby-only time built in. Naps and diapering / potty training are probably not going to be in sync, making some additional work for you.

Waiting more than 5 years between births is almost like having two only children. You have given your older child years of your undivided attention, and you can now focus on your baby. Your older child is more independent but may resent having to share your attention after having you all to himself for so long. You may have had more time to develop your career between births, so your maternity leaves may not be as disruptive.

Researchers have some insight for you, too …

When pregnancies are too close, health risks are more pronounced. If it will be less than 12 months since you last gave birth, you have a greater risk of placental abruption and placenta previa with this pregnancy, and your child has a greater risk of autism. You have an increased risk of uterine rupture with a VBAC if your previous birth was less than 18 months from the when the next birth will be. Additionally, if the space between the births will be less than 18 months, the risks of preterm birth, low birth weight and having a baby who is small for gestational age are all increased. There are also risks to pregnancies spaced 5+ years apart, though researchers don’t know why: preeclampsia, preterm birth, low birth weight, and small for gestational age are all risk factors.

Experts believe that two to three years (but not more than 5) between births is the optimal spacing for siblings. This is true not only in the developed world, but also in traditional societies. (In fact, the average age between siblings in the US is about 30 months.) Some researchers have found that these children do better in math and reading as they grow. Experts seem to agree that health outcomes are better for moms and for babies with this spacing.

It’s up to you.

What it boils down to, though, is personal choice. When are you and your partner ready to expand your family? Sometimes it’s not a rational choice – it’s much more emotional. No matter what, if you love your children, they will thrive, regardless of how many months apart they are in age.

Written by Michelle, childbirth instructor, lactation consultant, and mother to 4 busy kids

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice.  All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

Routines and Your Baby: How They can Help

Whether it’s a bedtime routine or a predictable schedule during the day, babies often benefit from a routine. Remember when your baby was a newborn? She was a blank slate and did not know the difference between day and night. Life may have been a bit unpredictable. But developing a routine may have helped you both find your groove.

If the thought of a routine sounds too confining or rigid, it does not have to be. Remember, you’re not in boot camp. A routine does not have to mean doing everything like clockwork without any flexibility. Think of it more as doing things in a similar sequence at approximate times of the day. Read your baby’s cue and change things as you see fit.

Why Routines are Beneficial

Keep in mind, a flexible routine can benefit your baby in several ways. For example, a routine at bedtime can help your baby understand that it’s time to wind down and go to sleep. A predictable schedule also helps your baby feel secure and learn rules.

As your baby gets close to his first birthday, a routine helps him understand sequencing. For example, he will start to understand that after eating, comes cleaning up and after getting his shoes on comes going outside. Understanding sequencing will help him when he reaches preschool and beyond.

But a routine is not just beneficial for your baby. It can make life easier on you. A routine allows you to incorporate things into your day when your baby is sleeping, such as work, chores or even a much-needed nap.

Developing a Routine

What activities you incorporate into your routine is not as important as having a pattern your little one becomes accustomed to. For example, maybe you have a daily schedule, which starts with nursing, playtime, eating solids and a nap. In the afternoon, you might repeat a similar pattern of eating, playing, and sleeping. A bath, reading and cuddle time might round out your day.

The funny thing about babies and routines is just when you have a schedule, you may have to change it up. Routines need to change as your baby grows. For instance, eventually your baby will stop his morning nap or he may give up nursing as often. Eliminating certain parts of a routine and adding new things is to be expected.

Keep in mind, while consistency is important, a little flexibility does not hurt. There may be times your routine gets messed up. Life happens. Whether it is due to illness or a vacation, changes in your little one’s routine from time to time can teach your baby how to adapt and go with the flow.

Written by MaryAnn DePietro @writerlady34

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

5 Tips for Choosing a Baby Book

Don’t worry, you’re not the first mom to run out of things to say to your baby and you certainly won’t be the last. There are, after all, only so many times you can point out cows, explain the colors in the laundry basket and go through the parts of your baby. The more words babies are exposed to throughout the day, the more opportunity they have to develop their language skills. Investing in some decent baby books can help you keep talking without boring yourself. Here are some top tips for choosing a baby book:

  1. Babies love pictures

I know, you’re totally ready to get your childhood copy of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland down from the loft and start reading, but you might be better letting it gather dust for a few more years. Your baby is likely to be fascinated by bright colors and decorative illustrations. He loves listening to the sound of your voice and seeing the pictures on each page, but he’s probably not ready to follow the complex and mind-boggling adventures of young Alice just yet.

  1. Put yourself first

It’s a book for your baby, but your baby isn’t going to be the one forced to read it three times a day for the next two years. Nope, that’ll be you, so make sure you pick a book you love. Make sure you read before buying to make sure it’s a book you can read over and over again. Don’t worry, at some point it’s bound to get ‘lost’, all favorite books do.

  1. Get recommendations

Don’t judge a book by the cover and don’t base your purchasing decisions on online reviews. When it comes to kids books, parents are the best people to ask for advice. After all, they’re knee deep in bedtime stories. Speak to your mom friends, find out what books they love reading – and which they don’t.

  1. Don’t blow your budget

You can pick up secondhand books really cheaply at thrift stores and secondhand bookstores. There’s no need to splash out on the latest best seller, there are plenty of entertaining books that can be picked up for next to nothing. Instead of blowing your budget on one book, why not buy a few cheaper books? That way you’ll be able to mix it up each night and won’t tire quite so quickly of reading the same words over and over again.

  1. Get other people to do the work for you

Books make great gifts. If your baby has new toys and adorable outfits as far as the eye can see, it might be time to ask friends and family for books instead. The next time someone asks you what your baby might like as a present, you could suggest they give a copy of their favorite childhood book. You’ll get some new reading material and your baby will inherit a very special and sentimental gift.

Which is your favorite book to read to your child?

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

Mommy Mush Brain

Do you find yourself walking into a room and completely forgetting why you’re there? Are you not remembering to do things unless they’re on your “to-do” list? Do you look down at your baby and think, “When was the last time I fed you? Did I just change you? Was it yesterday or the day before that you had a bath?” You’re not losing your mind – you just have mommy mush brain.

While your forgetfulness may seem like a liability, the changes your brain undergoes when you have a baby are amazing adaptations to becoming a mother, and may be necessary for time investment and caretaking behaviors toward your baby.

Your emotions are all over the place.
Your hormones change during pregnancy, and experience a huge shift again at birth and throughout the postpartum period. Oxytocin is the main hormone; and, the more involved you are in caring for your baby, the higher the levels. Other hormones, like prolactin, adrenaline, nor-adrenaline and estrogen are also active in mom’s body. This hormone cocktail is what causes you to cry at sappy commercials or simply when thinking about your baby in the days after birth.

Your brain grows.
Amazingly, your brain actually increases in volume after your baby is born. The parts of your brain controlling empathy, pleasure, anxiety and sociability increase in activity and size when you have a baby (even during pregnancy). These changes are led by hormones – the same ones that give you the tiger mother protectiveness toward your newborn, the same ones that make you a nervous wreck when you think of all the bad things that could happen, and the same ones that make you love your offspring unconditionally.

Your mothering behavior is fueled by the pleasure centers of the brain.
Oxytocin, the hormone of love, surges at birth, and is present throughout breastfeeding. It’s the hormone released when you hold someone’s hand, stroke your baby’s skin, cuddle your baby close, share a meal with a friend. Oxytocin makes us feel good – and this lights up the parts of the brain associated with pleasure. While you may doubt that waking 10 times a night to settle a baby is pleasurable, the release of oxytocin ensures that you will keep caring for your baby – you are addicted to your baby in a good way.

Some changes are temporary, while others last a lifetime.
The forgetfulness new moms experience seems to be a temporary change – so you can look forward to restored memory capability! But researchers are just starting to determine what changes permanently alter a woman’s brain. They believe it’s likely that your brain never quite returns to the way it was before having a baby – new connections and pathways are established that may change your brain forever (usually in a positive way!). Another strange change that researchers aren’t sure what to make of is that they have found male chromosomes in the brains of moms who have given birth to boys.

Breastfeeding causes changes, too.
A breastfeeding mom and baby are called a dyad for a reason – their interdependence and linked systems work together and both change as a result. The milk-making neurological pathways of your brain are continually reinforced and enlarged each time your baby eats. Again, it’s oxytocin mainly at play. Not only is oxytocin released (ensuring loving maternal behaviors) but new receptors are created, increasing your sensitivity to the hormone. Breastfeeding also lowers the response to stress hormones – which could save the brain from the damaging effects of anxiety over the long-term.

Research about how women’s brains change in pregnancy and motherhood can inform future medical treatments for individual women. Therapies that may work on a never-pregnant woman might not be effective for women who have given birth. In addition, researchers are mapping the way the brain works during mothering to help those who have postpartum mood disorders.

So, next time you lose your phone or misplace the car keys, instead of worrying that you’re going crazy, embrace the changes and know that you’re officially part of the new mom’s club.

Written by Michelle, childbirth instructor, lactation consultant, and mother to 4 busy kids

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice.  All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

10 Ways to Improve the Family Diet

We’ve all heard that to eat healthy you should limit this and add that to your diet. Paleo, clean eating, high protein, low protein, low carb, low fat, sugar free. And on and on and on. With having a new baby, you may notice that you’re a little more conscious of what you’re eating. And when your baby starts eating solid foods, you may really start to focus on what goes in that little body. You may even find that as time goes by, your overall family diet has improved.

The earlier you start to shape your child’s eating habits, the easier it is to eat well as a family. Some parents, though, need help themselves to change the way they eat. If you’re struggling, here are some ideas to get you on the right path:

Always have a family dinner. Have at least one meal each day where everyone sits together. This gets difficult as your children get older and more involved in school and extracurricular activities. Even for working parents this may be a challenge. But it’s one of the easiest ways to reconnect as a family on a daily basis. Family meals help children learn social skills along with healthy eating habits. Research shows that when kids eat a family meal, they are less likely to have behavioral problems and more likely to excel academically.

You’re in control of what you buy. Spend your money on healthy foods, and limit (or avoid spending money on) processed, sugary, high fat foods. Increase the number and variety of fruits and vegetables you eat. Eat across the rainbow – include foods with lots of different colors, which will help you increase the diversity of nutrients you get. Aim for fresh ingredients and limit the number of ready-made processed foods you purchase.

Make a healthy snack list. This is especially helpful as your kids get older, but adults can definitely benefit from this, too. Healthy eating doesn’t mean you need to completely forgo all dessert or treats – but they should be just that … something special you eat only occasionally and in moderation. Snacking can help to keep your blood sugar regular which will keep you feeling better. But come up with a list of healthy choices

Avoid the clean plate rule. Stop eating when you’re no longer hungry, even if there’s food left on the plate. Keep this rule in mind with your children, too – allow them to determine when they’ve had enough, and trust what they say. If they’re hungry soon after a meal, having only healthy snack choices (especially fruits and vegetables) make it easier to feel good about frequent eating.

Plan your menu. Having a set list when you enter the grocery store will help you to avoid impulse purchases while you’re there. As your child gets older, include him in meal planning. Have your child help you shop. Learning to connect meals with food selection teaches a lifelong skill. In fact, planting a garden at home can help your child understand even more about where his food comes from.

Cook together. Even toddlers can help to prep foods. You can teach safe kitchen skills, and make meals together with healthy, fresh ingredients. Just the act of contributing to the preparation makes it more likely you child will at least try the food.

Picky eaters make it much harder. When trying new foods or meals, include at least one food your child likes (this is true for adults, too, if you’re trying to change the way you eat). Don’t give in to making separate meals when your child fusses and refuses food. It’s your job to provide healthy food choices, and it’s your child’s decision whether or not to eat it.

Look at a whole day or a whole week rather than worrying over every meal. You can get caught up in a battle when you’re feeling stressed over every bit you or your child take. If you want to eat healthier overall, take a look at one week at a time. What positive changes did you make, and what do you still want to do differently?

Drink more water. Ditch the juice and soda. No need to make sugary kids’ drink mix. Offer water as the beverage of choice from the very start and your children will grow up not knowing any different.

Start slowly. You don’t need to drastically overhaul the way you and your family eat. Make it a one-week experiment. Or try changing one small thing (adding a vegetable to every meal, for example) for a set amount of time, then reassess. It’s a myth that it takes 21 days of doing something to make it a habit – it can take 2 months, one year, a lifetime to change the way you eat. But for your children, it’s much easier to instill good habits from the start than to break bad habits later.

What changes have you made toward healthy family eating?

Written by Michelle, childbirth instructor, lactation consultant, and mother to 4 busy kids

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice.  All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

Will My Boobs Ever Be the Same?

After having your baby and nursing, you may have a new appreciation for what your breasts can do. But you might be starting to wonder if your boobs will ever look the same again.

Along with the rest of your body, your breasts probably underwent some changes during pregnancy. Some of which may be continuing even after you had your baby. You knew your breasts would get larger and maybe change a little, but are these changes permanent?

It’s difficult to say whether your breasts will be exactly the same after you wean your baby. It may depend on how much weight you gained, how fast you gained it, and if this is your first baby or your fourth. It also depends on what changes you are talking about.

Some of the changes, such as larger and darker nipples, may go away a few months after you stop nursing. Cracked, sore nipples from breastfeeding will also go away. But a few other changes may be here to stay.

Between pregnancy weight gain, hormones and your milk coming in, your breast tissue expanded and your skin stretched. As a result, some women develop stretch marks on their breasts. In some cases, laser treatments and prescription retinoid creams may help reduce the appearance of stretch marks, but results vary. Keep in mind, these treatments are not recommended while you are breastfeeding.

Once you stop breastfeeding, your breasts may or may not return to their pre-pregnancy size. Some women notice their boobs are a bit smaller or a bit larger. You may also notice “the girls” are not as perky as they were before. Before you blame breastfeeding for your drooping boobies, pregnancy is the real culprit.

During pregnancy, your breasts increased in size, which caused the ligaments that support them to stretch. The stretching is what can lead to sagging.

It’s important to understand, everyone is different, and not all women experience permanent changes in how their breasts look. But if you’re unhappy with your post-pregnancy breasts, there are a few things you can try. For example, a good, supportive bra may add a little oomph to your cleavage.

Also, once you get the go-ahead to work out, consider adding a little strength training to your routine. Pushups, chest flys and bench presses all work the pectoral muscles, which are the muscles that support your breasts. Working your chest muscles won’t give you a larger cup size or fuller breasts. But developing your pectoral muscles, may give your chest a little perkier, lifted appearance.

Lastly, try to focus on what an amazing thing your body did. Your breasts provided the nutrition your baby needed. Regardless of your cup size, that’s a beautiful thing.

Written by MaryAnn DePietro @writerlady34

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

Handling Baby Sick Days After You’ve Returned to Work

It never fails. You’ve been back in the workforce for just a short while after returning from your maternity (or paternity) leave, and already you find yourself using up sick days. But not because you’re the one who’s ill; because your baby is.

That’s the thing no one really tells you about returning to work. You can have the best of intentions in the world, but you’ve got a baby now. And babies get sick. Especially babies who are new to daycare. Which means all your paid time off might just be dedicated to caring for your sick little one in the year to come.

Exciting, right?

The problem comes when you have limited sick leave, or a job that doesn’t lend itself very well to unexpected absences. How are you supposed to do your job well and still parent your child, who may or may not need you home on any given day?

The answer is, there is no singular solution that will work best for everyone. But there are methods you can employ to reduce the fallout of a sick baby when it comes to your job.

First and foremost, make sure you work with your partner to determine who can take off and when. If you both have jobs that require you to be there, the burden may have to be shared when it comes to caring for your sick little one. Like all things in parenting as a team, compromise may be key to finding an agreement that works. And that agreement may need to be flexible if your child becomes sick on a day that one of you has a big presentation or some other crucial need to be on the job.

Beyond that, working with your supervisors to find acceptable solutions can be a good idea. Plenty of jobs have duties that can occasionally be done from home, so maybe you want to ask about projects you could work on from your laptop the next time you have to call in sick in order to care for your child. Engage your supervisor in a conversation about options that may be available on those days when your little one wakes up with a fever. You may find your company even has policies that allow for working from home a set number of days a month. Or that you can arrange a flexible work schedule, so that if you have to stay home on Monday, you may be able to make up those hours on Saturday.

Ultimately, it is all about finding balance and accepting that your life now revolves around a new little priority; but that doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your job completely. Look for solutions, communicate with those involved, and find ways to make it work; even when you have to stay home.

Written by Leah Campbell, infertility advocate, adoptive mama, writer and editor. Find me @sifinalaska on Twitter.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general informational basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.