Five Ways to Nurture Your Relationship During Pregnancy

With all the changes going on, both physically and mentally, it’s little wonder your relationship is feeling a little neglected. As you prepare to welcome your child into the world, and adjust to seeing your partner as a parent, you may find that the romance is suffering. So, how can you nurture your relationship during pregnancy?

1. Invest in some baby-free days – it can sometimes feel that every spare hour is spent preparing for the baby. When you’re not at your desk or asleep (or asleep at your desk if it’s the first trimester), you’re writing baby lists, shopping for baby items or reading about parenting. It’s official, the baby has taken over your life. Now is the time to claw back a bit of personal time, so that you can make the most of your partner before the baby is born (and really does take over your life). Set aside some baby-free days where everything baby-related is out of bounds. No prenatal classes, no worrying, and no internet research. Think back to your pre-pregnancy days, and spend some time doing the things you used to do as a couple. If your schedules and to-do list allow it, try to have a baby-free day every few weeks for the duration of the pregnancy.

2. Spend time as a couple preparing for the baby – this is the polar opposite of the above point, but both are equally important. Some dads-to-be feel left out during pregnancy, and feel they are not as involved as they would like to be. Get your partner involved in the decision-making process – let him coo over tiny baby outfits with you, choose colours for the nursery, and chat about what life will be like once the baby arrives. Prenatal classes are a great way to get him involved in the pregnancy, and will help to prepare him for the birth as well as life as a new parent. You don’t need to spend all of your time together discussing the baby, but make sure you involve him in decisions and discussions. The overwhelming majority of men want to be part of this process, and some end up feeling pushed out when they aren’t.

3. Go dating – no, not dating other people to check you made the right decision – go on a date with your partner. No doubt you have been told this so many times you’re sick of hearing it, but it’s true. You really should make the most of the time you have before the baby arrives. The first few months of parenting are amazing, but also exhausting. It’s easy for weeks to slip by without you really noticing the missed time together. So, while you are waiting for the baby to arrive, try to have regular date nights. Go for meals, go to the cinema, and go for day trips – do all the things that may become more difficult once you’re a family of three.

4. Go away for a weekend – if you’re currently saving up to buy all your big baby items, a weekend away is probably the last thing on your mind. Remember though, it will be at least a little trickier to get away once the baby arrives. So if you can, try to have a mini break during your pregnancy. Whether you opt for two weeks away, a mini break, or simply a weekend together with no distractions, try to spend a block of quality time together before the baby arrives.

5. Get intimate – all pregnancies are different. While some women may find themselves constantly distracted by arousal, others may be completely put off the idea of sex altogether. If you don’t want to have sex, there are other ways you can enjoy intimacy during pregnancy. From affectionate massages (particularly good if you’re suffering from aches and pains), to relaxing baths together, make sure you are spending time with your partner. If you don’t want to have sex, be honest with your partner about this. If you do want to have sex, you may have to experiment with positions until you find one that is comfortable.

How are you nurturing your relationship during pregnancy?

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2018. All rights reserved.

5 Things You Should Keep Doing as a Parent

Becoming a parent for the first time is a bit like somebody picking up your whole life, giving it a good shake and then tipping it out onto the floor. You know everything should still be there but can’t quite find the things you need. It’s life changing and will take you quite some time to adjust to. Becoming a parent doesn’t have to completely change you, though, it’s possible to be a good mama and still be you. Here are five things you should keep doing as a parent:

  1. Date night

Now that you’re parents, your relationship is more important than ever before. You have probably already noticed you have less time and energy to spend together and that can quickly start to impact your relationship. To keep things good between you, it’s important to prioritize your time together. A weekly date night is a good way of keeping the magic alive. In the early days, you don’t even have to leave the house on date night. Enjoy a nice meal together (takeaway will do) and snuggle up in front of a movie, just the two of you. Of course, your date night is likely to get interrupted for the first few months, but in time, you’ll be able to use a sitter and head out of the house to escape the demands of family life.

  1. Your hobbies

Everybody has things they do that make them feel at home. It might be a weekly sewing club, a political blog or morning yoga. Whatever it is, you should give yourself permission to still enjoy it. You don’t have to give up the things that make you ‘you’ just because you’re a mama. In fact, it could be argued that these things are now more important than ever – they’re the sanity savers that will come in useful when you’re sleep deprived and touched out.

  1. Putting yourself first

Babies are pretty dependent on their parents and that means that, at least for a little while, you’ll be coming in second. Some days you won’t even get to pee or eat when you want to because you’ll be so busy looking after that gorgeous little baby. It’s rewarding but exhausting and sometimes you need to take a little something for yourself. To be the best mama you can be, you need to have all of your needs met sometimes too. When you can feel yourself getting burnt out, hand the baby over to your partner and take some time for yourself. You’ve earned it.

  1. Exploring

Some people seem to think that having a baby means your life is over, but it’s definitely not true. Having a baby may change your life, but it doesn’t have to restrict you. You can still travel the world and explore places you’ve never been. Sure, you might pick out different destinations or consider different transport options with a baby in tow, but you can still travel the world with a baby. And what a lucky baby, how many babies can say they’ve been to the far side of the world just to explore with their parents?

  1. Investing in your friendships

Friendships come so easily to children, but they can be hard to maintain when you get into adulthood. When you’re busy with work commitments, family life and have to think twice before agreeing to a night out of city break, it becomes harder to maintain those friendships. They are, however, important. Your friends are the people who will listen to you moan without judgement, help you out when they can and always be there to cheer you up. Make time for them and make sure they know you love them, even when you don’t have time to spare.

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

9 Date Night Ideas

Once your baby arrives, you and your partner go from being a couple to being a family instead. It’s a subtle shift, but your changing relationship can suffer when your focus remains solely on the baby. Middle of the night diaper changes and feedings aren’t exactly the makings of a steamy romance.

So how do you integrate your old couples-only existence into your new life with a baby? A first start can be regular date nights! You don’t even need to leave your baby – you can reconnect with your partner without the stress of wondering how your baby is doing with the sitter. These baby-friendly ideas can get you started:

  • Take a drive: Get in the car with no destination in mind and just drive. Choose out-of-the way roads and country scenery, if you can. Turn on some music, but keep it quiet enough for conversation. Bonus: the car will often lull baby to sleep.
  • Plan a picnic: Throw a blanket down in the grass (or even on the living room floor if the weather isn’t great). Cook dinner together or shop for premade picnic foods, and enjoy an out-of-the-ordinary dinner together.
  • Consider a staycation: Who says you need to go somewhere to relax? Unplug the phone and television, put away your mobile devices and computers. Forget about the housekeeping. Plan a weekend of doing nothing together at home. Eat easy meals, nap, read, take long showers, talk, laugh. You’ll still need to care for baby, but you can let the outside world disappear for a couple of days
  • Go to the movies: It’s easy to go to the movie theater when you’ve got a newborn. Any time your baby stirs, feed him (especially simple if you’re breastfeeding). Wear your baby in a sling or wrap – he may sleep the whole time. Even better? Find a drive-in movie theater. If baby fusses, it won’t bother anyone. And you may be able to get away with wearing your pajamas!
  • Walk or hike: If you’re missing the outdoors, hike, walk or ride bikes together. You can take baby along on any of these excursions with the right equipment. The exercise, fresh air and sunshine will do all of you some good.
  • Meet for a power lunch: If you’re tired by 7pm and can’t imagine going out to eat, consider meeting for lunch instead. There’s no reason romance should be confined to the evening and nighttime hours.
  • Have a wine and cheese party at sunset: Enjoy appetizers al fresco and watch the sun go down. Hold hands or snuggle under a blanket if it’s chilly out.
  • Dress up for dinner: Get ready as you would if you were going to a fancy restaurant. Plan a gourmet meal, and cook together. Or order out so you don’t have to do any work.
  • Light a fire: Whether it’s a fireplace in your living room, a fire pit in your garden, or simply some candles with the lights turned off, spend time together whispering and enjoying the soft, romantic lighting. Who knows what other speaks it might ignite?

The key – no matter what you choose to do on your date – is to NOT to spend the whole evening talking about the baby or any babycare topics. Find conversation starters if you’re having trouble not discussing your cute little bundle’s milestones.

Most of all, remember that you’re in this together. Supporting each other in your changing parenting roles will make your family happier as it grows.

Written by Michelle, childbirth instructor, lactation consultant, and mother to 4 busy kids

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice.  All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

5 Date Night Ideas for New Parents

You’ve probably already noticed that babies can be pretty time consuming. You spend most of your waking hours (so all your hours then, since there’s not much sleep happening right now) tending to her needs. You are either changing nappies, feeding, soothing or entertaining. It’s all consuming, and it doesn’t leave much time for anything else.

You’re probably guilty of neglecting your relationship since the birth, after all, there isn’t much opportunity for impromptu date nights when you have a newborn in the house. The important thing to remember is that this is temporary. Your baby won’t always be a baby. Before you know it, she’ll be fighting for her independence and enjoying time away from you. In the meantime, however, you need to make sure your relationship still gets some attention.

If you have willing babysitters and would like some time away, organize a date night for the two of you. You don’t have to go far, even a dinner date at your local restaurant will be a pleasant change. And you’ll be able to eat your food before it goes cold, talk about luxury! If you don’t have babysitters to hand, or don’t feel ready to leave your baby just yet, don’t worry, there are plenty of ways you can nurture your relationship without leaving your baby behind. How about trying one of the following date night ideas for new parents:

  1. Go gourmet

With a newborn baby at home, you’re probably living off a very questionable diet these days. Biscuits and take away, anyone? Have a date night at home by preparing a top notch meal for you both to enjoy once the baby is asleep. Choose something that can be served as and when you’re ready to eat it, so it’s not a big deal if the baby wakes up when you’re about to eat. Set the table, light some candles and enjoy a night of adult conversation.

  1. Movie night

Every night is movie night when you have a baby, right? Make this movie night extra special by picking a film you’re both desperate to see, and making sure you have popcorn and movie snacks at hand. Snuggle up under a blanket, and spend some time relaxing together in front of a movie.

  1. Family day out

A family day out might not sound like much of a date, but you might be surprised to discover just how lovely these days can be. While your baby sleeps soundly in the pram or sling, you and your partner can enjoy a walk around some stately gardens, followed by a lunch date at your favorite eatery. Yes, there will be more diaper changes and breastfeeds than your typical date, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a lovely day to spend connecting with your partner.

  1. A change of scenery

Escape from the hustle and bustle of daily life. Get away from work, away from the dirty dishes, and spend a night away together in a hotel. There’s no need to leave your baby with someone else, your baby can go with you. Taking some time out could be just what you all need, a little break from reality to enjoy some quality family time and really appreciate each other.

  1. Games night

If you’re guilty of spending most of your evenings in front of the television, you may feel like you’ve not really spoken to your partner for a while. Turn the television off and get hold of some board games to spend an evening having fun together. This will give you the time and space to chat to each other, as well as providing some fun.

How are you looking after your relationship in these early days of parenthood?

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.