Becoming a mother for the first time will change your life. During those first few months, your life will be full of new experiences. First smiles, first baths, teething pains, sleepless nights – it may take you a while to adjust to your new role. Caring for a newborn is amazing, and exhausting, and you will need a support system around you to make it easier.

If you and your partner both take leave from work for the first couple of weeks, you will become a team – caring for your baby together. Taking shifts to sleep, sharing in the nappy changing duties, and helping to keep each other sane.

As your partner leaves for work on his first day back, you may find yourself feeling a little helpless as you stare at your beautiful newborn baby, and wonder whether you’ll be able to cope alone. Of course, you will. And in many ways, the time alone will allow you to bond and grow more confident as a mother, but you may also miss adult company. When you start to long for the company of other adults, it’s time to get out and try to meet other mums. Here’s how:

1. Get in touch with old friends – if you have any friends with young children, now is the time to get in touch. Chances are, they’ve already rallied round to offer support during these first months, but if not, get in touch and see if they fancy meeting up.

2. Go to a healthcare group – there are plenty of baby clinics, breastfeeding support groups, pediatric first aid courses, and parenting groups for you to join. These groups are full of mothers just like you – people keen for more information, but also keen to meet friends to keep themselves and their babies entertained.

2. Go to a baby group – there are so many different types of groups available. From costly baby sign lessons, to free groups at your local church, there should be groups in your local area. Go along, and look out for parents with babies around the same age. If there aren’t any groups near you, why not try to organise one? Just an informal coffee morning at a local cafe would be a start, and it will be a great way to meet other mums.

3. Get chatting – when you’re out and about, at the park, shops or cafe, strike up conversations with other new mums. You’ll be surprised how easy it is to make conversation with complete strangers – motherhood is almost a universal language that allows women to bond. Don’t be afraid to suggest swapping numbers or meeting up again. It might seem forward, but chances are they’re just as keen to make some new friends.

4. Look online – there are a number of forums and online platforms where you can search for mums in your local area. From informal coffee mornings to huge group meets, from walks in the park to a local sling meet, there should be a few options in your local area.

These friends you make when your child is young could last you a lifetime, and you will see your children grow together and develop lasting friendships, too.

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2018. All rights reserved.

When you are pregnant, you will find that many people lose their manners when it comes to speaking to you. They say things that are unnecessary, or hurtful, or frightening, or just plain strange. It’s a weird phenomenon, really, that people seem to lose all their social filters when dealing with a pregnant woman.

The following are 5 things NOT to say to a pregnant woman. Ever.

1. Don’t say ‘You are too big or too small.’ Making reference to the size of a pregnant woman’s belly will just cause her to worry. Everyone carries differently. If she is huge – she is huge. If she is small – she is small. Simply accept the baby bump for what it is, and make references of how cute she is, or how adorable her belly is, but never question or be inquisitive about why she is either too big or too small in your opinion.

2. Never, ever share miscarriage, stillbirth or labor and delivery horror stories with pregnant woman. They don’t want to hear it. Seriously, just keep those things to yourself! All they do is cause unnecessary stress and even more worry for the pregnant woman.

3. Don’t ask, ‘Did you get a boy or girl this time?’ For some reason when people see a pregnant woman with a daughter or son, they automatically assume the family hopes to be pregnant with the ‘other’ gender. “Oh, did you get your son this time?” Not only does this hurt the already born children, but it is kind of rude. Who’s to say a pregnant mom doesn’t want two boys, or three girls? The assumption that the perfect family is a son and a daughter (in that order) is outdated.

4. Avoid telling a woman how much labor hurts, or the details of horrendous labor. In fact, the best thing to remind pregnant woman is that women have been giving birth since the dawn of mankind, and that everything will be just fine.

5. Parenting horror stories aren’t necessary. Forewarning them about how awful, or stressful rearing children is, or how their yet to be born baby will become a wild brat one day, is not necessary. Personalities and parenting choices are something every mom finds out on her own. Why burst her bubble now, when she is glowing with joy and basking in motherhood?

What are some of the things you wish people didn’t say to you while you were pregnant?

Written By Stef, Mom of 4 @Momspirational

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.

Many people talk about the all-important mother baby bonding that takes place after childbirth. Some describe this time as an “Ah-Ha” moment, when they experienced such joy and love that they were overwhelmed like nothing before. Other women feel the process of bonding with baby took time and didn’t happen immediately.  The reality is that your individual circumstances and your experiences during labor and delivery can have an impact on how well you feel you bonded with baby.

The best advice about bonding with your baby, is to allow it to happen in its own time. Don’t feel pressured to make something magical happen, and realize that you have spent the entirety of your pregnancy bonding with your baby.

Additionally, the following 5 tips will help you feel even more connected to your baby!

1.  Give yourself time to heal! Those precious moments when you first see your baby are magical, indeed. In the hospital setting, however, when the doctors are poking and prodding you and your baby, you are exhausted, and inundated with visitors – you can feel a little detached.

2. Make sure you have time for just you and your baby! Seriously – kick well wishers out, or ask that they only visit during visiting hours. Just like your baby is adjusting to breathing air, you are adjusting to motherhood. You need time to BE with your baby, by yourself – or with just you and your significant other. If others find it rude, then so be it. Be very clear that you would like some private time.

3. Keep your baby in your room with you rather than sending him or her to the nursery. Having your baby with you, in skin-to-skin contact, not only helps with lactation, but also helps with the mother baby bonding experience. Plus, you will adjust to the noises that he or she makes, and your baby will feel safe and secure knowing that you are there.

4.  Keep a camera handy and take lots of pictures. You cannot recreate these first moments and before you know it you will be home and your baby will be crawling. Having the pictures to look back on helps you to remember those feelings in the first hours and days, and helps you to realize just how much you and your baby DID bond after delivery.
You can also use our Baby+ App for iPhone / iPad or Android to record your baby’s milestones and unforgettable moments, or use the App to create a time-lapse video by taking a picture of your baby every day. The App will then automatically produce a beautiful video.

5. Give yourself time. Adjusting to motherhood, in addition to dealing with a multitude of hormonal fluctuations is not always an easy transition. If you don’t have that “Ah-Ha” moment that people talk about, give yourself a break and try not to worry about it. Sometimes – likely in most cases – this bonding is built around time and togetherness.

What YOU will realize, is that although the individual mother baby bonding experience is different for everyone, YOU WILL BOND WITH YOUR NEW LITTLE ONE!

Do you enjoy this App? Good news! You can now also download our new Baby App for iPhone / iPad or Android. Click Baby+ iOS or Baby+ Android to install the App, and prepare for the arrival of your little one(s).

Written By Stef, Mom of 4 @Momspirational

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.

When you’re pregnant, it seems like so much of your planning is for the birth. But have you though about what comes next? What do you need to plan for parenting. You’ve stoked up on diapers, you’ve decorated the nursery, you’ve washed all the baby clothes and assembled the crib. But what else might you need?

Consider downloading the Health & Parenting Baby+ App. Sometimes those early days are all a blur – the feedings, diapering, self-care (the brief moments you have for that!), sleep deprivation. The Baby+ App can help you keep track of it all.

Feedings: Newborns eat often. And while you think you’ll remember when baby ate last, you may find yourself thinking “was that the last feeding? Maybe that was yesterday?” Whether you’re breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, you can note the time and amount of the last meal for your baby. And when your baby is ready for solids, there’s space for that, too.

Diaper changes: Diaper changes are as frequent as feedings, if not more so! If you’re tracking the number of wet and dirty diapers each day to be sure your baby is getting enough to eat, the App is a convenient place to note it.

Sleep: Along with lots of diapers and feedings, babies sleep plenty. It’s just not consolidated into one long stretch like most adults. Is your baby sleeping regularly? When was his last nap? How long was it? Is he sleeping too long and missing feedings? How many times did he wake last night? The App allows you to note all this so you can look back when you’re not so sleep deprived! The sleep chart gives you a quick snapshot of when your baby is typically sleeping – so it’s easy to know when you can run to the store without interrupting a regular naptime!

Development: First smiles, rolling, sitting, holding a toy, babbling then talking … so many changes happen so fast. The App’s convenient timelines give you an idea of what to expect each week. And the daily guides will provide even more details about what to expect each week of your baby’s first year.

First smiles: The Face-a-Day feature allows you to take a picture of your baby each and every day, while the diary and memories are a baby book at your fingertips!

Other features include:

• a white noise generator and a collection of lullabies – in case you’ve got a baby who won’t settle into sleep and you need a little extra help,
• breastfeeding tips and videos,
• logs for vaccinations, medications and doctor visits, and
• tips for your own postpartum recovery.

The App is designed to continue where the Pregnacny+ App left off – at the birth of your new baby. You can continue to track baby’s progress up to his first birthday. The App can be used for more than one child – giving you a handy place to check how often your firstborn fed when you’re trying to figure out if your second born is eating often enough.

Have you tried the Health & Parenting Baby+ App yet? What are your favorite features?

Written by Michelle, writer, editor, childbirth educator, lactation consultant, and mother to 4 busy kids.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice.  All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.

Being a new mom is wonderful, special, exhausting and unlike anything else. You are probably still walking on air from the intense power of the love you feel for your newborn. Whilst at the same time, you are tired to the point of breaking, and feel like emotional wreck.

Here are seven tips for new moms, to make those first few weeks more manageable:

1. Rest when you can – everyone says this, but not all new mothers do it. You should try to rest as often as you can. There is no shame in daytime napping, in fact it’s pretty much mandatory during maternity leave. The most important thing is that you and baby are healthy, so stop worrying about the laundry, and get yourself tucked in. Can’t sleep? At least get horizontal!
2. Eat healthily – for the first few days at least, this means eating as much fibre as you can stomach. Dried apricots, high bran cereal, and plenty of fruit and veggies to help you avoid the postpartum curse of constipation. Constipation can soon lead to hemorrhoids, neither of which are what you want when you’re trying to adjust to motherhood, breastfeeding and sleep deprivation. It’s easy to snack on biscuits throughout the day, and neglect eating full meals as a new mom. If you’re struggling to find the time to cook, try snacking on nuts, fresh fruit and vegetables instead of reaching for unhealthy convenience foods.
3. Quench your thirst – water will help to fight constipation, and will keep you hydrated. If you’re breastfeeding, you may find yourself feeling especially thirsty so be sure to increase your water intake.
4. Ignore the housework – obviously you don’t want to raise your newborn in a pigsty, but that doesn’t mean the house needs to be spotless. It doesn’t matter if you have a few dirty dishes waiting in the sink, a few loads of laundry waiting to be done or a bit of clutter in the living room. What matters is that you’re making the most of this time to bond with your baby. You won’t look back in the future and regret taking time out from real life to cuddle your newborn baby.
5. Ask for help – asking for help doesn’t mean you’re a failure, or lazy or struggling to cope – it means you’re normal. Ask your mother-in-law to bring a precooked meal over, ask your brother to clean the bathroom and see if your best friend would pick up some groceries on her way over. There’s a reason people keep offering to help, it’s because they want to make your life easier – so let them.
6. Give yourself a break – you’ve just created the most wonderful person ever to exist, don’t beat yourself up too much about the house being a mess or about being in your nightgown at 3pm. Don’t waste time feeling guilty or worrying, just enjoy this once in a lifetime period with your teeny tiny newborn.
7. Capture it – take as many videos and photos as you can, you will love looking back on them in years to come. Even the mundane moments will be special to look back on; the cuddles, the giggles and the little smiles. Capture as much of their childhood as you can.

Do you have any words of advice to help new moms settle into their new roles?

Written by Fiona, proud owner of a toddler, @fiona_peacock

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

“So, what do you do all day?,” my friend asked. At the time, she didn’t have any children yet, and I had two. I had decided to quit working outside the home when my oldest was born. My days were full – of changing diapers, washing and folding laundry, fixing meals, and, more importantly, cuddling and loving my small children.

The realities of being a stay-at-home mom, however, can be challenging for some. As one well-known reality television star put it, “It’s so boring!” There were days when it was raining outside, we had nowhere that we needed to go, and I didn’t have a single ounce of patience or time for crafts and nutritious meals. I was tired of doing the same old puzzles, reading the same old books, watching repeats of DVDs we’d already seen, and naptime couldn’t come soon enough. But those days were rare.

Did I miss being out among adults in the working world? Sometimes. When my husband was working longer hours, I might go the whole day conversing only with a one-year-old and three-year-old. It was hard not to envy at least a little intellectual stimulation that comes from even the simplest small talk with others my own age.

Did I miss the intellectual challenge of work and study? Sometimes. But I was able to do a lot of reading, and the Internet made a huge difference in being connected to resources to further my education and interests. The library became a favorite resource – for me and for my kids.

Here are some ideas to help you stay sane if you’re having trouble adjusting to being a stay-at-home mom:

– Find something creative you like to do, and do it without kids. Whether it’s writing, reading, painting, crocheting, exercising, hiking, shopping – whatever – find some time every week to do it without kids in tow. When my youngest was a baby, I attended a “play group” (which was essentially a way for new moms to get out of the house), and a group of us moms started meeting once a week for tea, coffee and gossip. Mostly we talked about our families, but at least we did it without having to find anything, wipe anything or yell at anyone.

– Get out of the house with your kids often. This doesn’t need to be to attend a structured program or playdate. Simply take a walk around the block, go dig in the garden together, play at the park, or toss a ball around on the porch. Fresh air and sunshine will do everyone a world of good.

– Have a routine. Kids thrive on structure. Having a predictable daily schedule may help you feel a little more in control, and will help you break up your day a little. If you know your baby naps from one to three, you won’t feel so stressed building block houses with her until then. While she sleeps, you can pay bills, fold laundry or clean the cat litter.

– Play. Don’t forget to have fun with your kids. Take time every day to get down on the floor with your kids and do something they enjoy. Set up a huge farm, and let him add his dinosaurs to the cow pen. Build skyscrapers with wooden blocks. Put puzzles together. Play simple board games. Talk, imagine, create, enjoy. It is so cliché to say this, but they’ll only be little once. You’ll never regret the time you spent enjoying your children.

It can be boring with a newborn – babies just don’t do much. They need lots and don’t give much in return. But as my children grew and started to show their own little personalities, it was like meeting someone new, someone who you wanted to get to know better. I was taken on a journey of never-ending discovery watching them learn new skills every day. Being able to stay at home with my children is an immense blessing. I feel amazingly thankful that we’ve chosen to have less stuff in order to have more connection with our children. I wouldn’t trade this abundance for any other life.

Written by Michelle, childbirth instructor, lactation consultant, and mother to 4 busy kids

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

Do you find yourself walking into a room and completely forgetting why you’re there? Are you not remembering to do things unless they’re on your “to-do” list? Do you look down at your baby and think, “When was the last time I fed you? Did I just change you? Was it yesterday or the day before that you had a bath?” You’re not losing your mind – you just have mommy mush brain.

While your forgetfulness may seem like a liability, the changes your brain undergoes when you have a baby are amazing adaptations to becoming a mother, and may be necessary for time investment and caretaking behaviors toward your baby.

Your emotions are all over the place.
Your hormones change during pregnancy, and experience a huge shift again at birth and throughout the postpartum period. Oxytocin is the main hormone; and, the more involved you are in caring for your baby, the higher the levels. Other hormones, like prolactin, adrenaline, nor-adrenaline and estrogen are also active in mom’s body. This hormone cocktail is what causes you to cry at sappy commercials or simply when thinking about your baby in the days after birth.

Your brain grows.
Amazingly, your brain actually increases in volume after your baby is born. The parts of your brain controlling empathy, pleasure, anxiety and sociability increase in activity and size when you have a baby (even during pregnancy). These changes are led by hormones – the same ones that give you the tiger mother protectiveness toward your newborn, the same ones that make you a nervous wreck when you think of all the bad things that could happen, and the same ones that make you love your offspring unconditionally.

Your mothering behavior is fueled by the pleasure centers of the brain.
Oxytocin, the hormone of love, surges at birth, and is present throughout breastfeeding. It’s the hormone released when you hold someone’s hand, stroke your baby’s skin, cuddle your baby close, share a meal with a friend. Oxytocin makes us feel good – and this lights up the parts of the brain associated with pleasure. While you may doubt that waking 10 times a night to settle a baby is pleasurable, the release of oxytocin ensures that you will keep caring for your baby – you are addicted to your baby in a good way.

Some changes are temporary, while others last a lifetime.
The forgetfulness new moms experience seems to be a temporary change – so you can look forward to restored memory capability! But researchers are just starting to determine what changes permanently alter a woman’s brain. They believe it’s likely that your brain never quite returns to the way it was before having a baby – new connections and pathways are established that may change your brain forever (usually in a positive way!). Another strange change that researchers aren’t sure what to make of is that they have found male chromosomes in the brains of moms who have given birth to boys.

Breastfeeding causes changes, too.
A breastfeeding mom and baby are called a dyad for a reason – their interdependence and linked systems work together and both change as a result. The milk-making neurological pathways of your brain are continually reinforced and enlarged each time your baby eats. Again, it’s oxytocin mainly at play. Not only is oxytocin released (ensuring loving maternal behaviors) but new receptors are created, increasing your sensitivity to the hormone. Breastfeeding also lowers the response to stress hormones – which could save the brain from the damaging effects of anxiety over the long-term.

Research about how women’s brains change in pregnancy and motherhood can inform future medical treatments for individual women. Therapies that may work on a never-pregnant woman might not be effective for women who have given birth. In addition, researchers are mapping the way the brain works during mothering to help those who have postpartum mood disorders.

So, next time you lose your phone or misplace the car keys, instead of worrying that you’re going crazy, embrace the changes and know that you’re officially part of the new mom’s club.

Written by Michelle, childbirth instructor, lactation consultant, and mother to 4 busy kids

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice.  All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

Looking after a baby can be exhausting work. It’s a fulltime job that requires you to be awake, alert and patient at pretty much all times. Your baby is amazing, beautiful and perfect, but he’s also probably demanding, frustrating and, dare you think it, selfish too. All your baby cares about are his own needs. He wants to be fed now, he wants his diaper changing now and he wants a cuddle this very minute. He doesn’t care that you’re in the shower or asleep (or both, if it’s been a particularly bad night).

It’s not uncommon to feel a little lost during your first year of motherhood. After all, when was the last time you got to do something just for you? You spend all of your time rushing around to make sure everyone else is ok and barely spare a second thought to your own well being.

Your well being is the most important

To take the best possible care of your baby, you need to take care of yourself first. It’s like on a plane how you have to fit your own oxygen mask first. If you can’t breathe, you won’t have the energy or ability to help your baby breathe. Not that your parenting is like a plane crash, but the same theory applies here. How can you look after another’s well being and health when your own stores are depleted?

‘Me time’ isn’t selfish, and it’s certainly not something you should feel guilty about. It plays an important role in allowing you to be the best parent you can be, so don’t be afraid to demand some time to yourself every now and again. Make sure that you and your partner are each able to enjoy some regular ‘me time’ to allow you to relax, recharge and regroup.

‘Me time’ inspiration

The great thing about ‘me time’ is that even a little bit will go a long way. You don’t need a week abroad by yourself to unwind (though, actually, that would be nice), even just an hour or so will do the trick. The key is to have a little patch of time that is all yours, free from interruptions and stress, to do with as you please. And no, the weekly shop doesn’t count. Neither does a trip to the dentist. You deserve some high quality ‘me time’.

Even something as simple as a bath (with the door locked, luxury!) all by yourself, with a good book and some relaxing music could leave you feeling loads better. If you can, treat yourself to a massage or beauty treatment at your favorite salon. Maybe a shopping trip would lighten your mood? Or signing up for an evening class to learn a new skill or throw yourself into a new hobby? Even just a short solitary walk after dinner could be enough to help you de-stress and prepare you for another day of parenting.

What are your go to ‘me time’ activities?

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

You’re sure you will remember the birth of your baby forever. You are certain you won’t forget those sleepless nights. But as time goes on and you get busier, the memories lose their sharpness. Was it my first birth or my third birth where I wanted to give up and walk out? I know I was sad when he weaned, but I can’t remember it exactly. How did I decide on when to leave him with a sitter for the first time?

Keeping a journal has many benefits beyond simply preserving memories in scrapbook-like fashion. Writing in a journal can help you clarify your thoughts and process your feelings. It can help you find context for your emotions and help you make decisions. It can remind you of what’s important and what’s not. It can give you a safe space to think and just be yourself.

Whether you buy an elegantly bound blank book and write in your favorite colored pen, or you type your thoughts into a file on your laptop, keeping a journal as a new mom allows you to think through your birth, your parenting choices, and your feelings about being a mom.

You’re not sure what to write? Start with your birth story. Don’t just record the facts, but add your reactions. Were you scared, empowered, awed, exhausted? Write about the first days with a new baby or the first time you held your baby in your arms – how did you change from woman to mother, how did your relationships change, what did your heart tell you? Include your baby’s milestones, but add your feelings about them.

If you find that you need ideas to get your creativity flowing, search the Internet for writing prompts specific to motherhood. Use the notes section in your phone to jot down memories as they happen and write more about them when you have time. Start with a sentence stem such as “I feel it’s important to …” or “if I could wish one thing for today ….”

The hardest part may be finding the time to write. Try to make it a routine – allow yourself 15 minutes before you go to sleep or right when you wake. Even just writing one sentence per day can get you started (and can be an extremely telling journal in the end!). Or set a timer for five minutes and just write whatever comes to mind.

Nobody is going to edit your writing – so no need to cross anything out or agonize over grammar and word choice. You may decide to share the journal with your grown child someday, or you might decide to just keep it private. Making that decision early on may cause you to censor what you write, so leave your options open.

Writing will help you to become more creative in all parts of your life. You will learn about yourself, and grow as a parent. Journaling gives you a non-judgmental space in which to just be yourself – in all of your messy glory!

You can also use the Diary section of our Baby+ App to create your own journal. This may make it easier to write and add photos at the same time. You can also export this Diary via the App using the Baby Yearbook feature.

Written by Michelle, childbirth instructor, lactation consultant, and mother to 4 busy kids

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.